The youngest daughter of an old fashioned father can no longer accept their irreconcilable differences. Revisiting her Filipino upbringing to find out why her Dad is the way he is, she must decide whether to cut him out of her life for good. Made with funding from NZ on Air.
A Filipino New Zealand woman was so sick of being trolled online by her own father she cut him out of her life.
Mia Maramara, 31, grew up in the Philippines but moved to New Zealand after completing her studies.
She recalls as a child being uncomfortable with her father Gus' views towards women and his inappropriate comments towards her. Her mother died when she was 8, and her father struggled as a single dad.
The relationship worsened through social media, as her father's opinionated, right wing posts flooded her daily Facebook feed.
His hardline, chauvinistic views were fundamentally opposed to her own progressive outlook and eventually it was too much to bear.
Her decision to axe her father from her life three years ago is now the subject of a new Loading Docs short documentary directed by Mia – Only Human – released today on nzherald.co.nz.
"I wanted to make this film because I was tired," Mia told the Herald. "Tired of fighting people on social media, tired of reading shitty headline after shitty headline, and most of all, tired of being trolled by my own father."
She said social media had polarised the generational divide between her and her dad, starting gradually during the lead-up to the 2016 Philippine elections.
Then in 2018, she posted an article on Facebook commenting on a "sexist act" - a president who pulled a woman on stage and pressured her to kiss him - which culminated in a "big blowout" online with her father.
"I was shocked to see our situation — what is now casually thought of as Boomer dad vs Millennial daughter — mirrored on an international stage later that year during the American elections, and then the #Me Too movement, Black Lives Matter protests, Covid, and QAnon."
By telling her personal story, Mia hoped to illustrate how social media has changed the way people communicate with one other. Photo / Supplied
By telling her personal story, she hoped to illustrate how social media has changed the way people communicate with one other, "and how we might be able to someday have real conversations again".
The film's producer Kate Goodwin said it would resonate with every young woman who'd had awkward conversations with their dad "about why their long-held attitudes aren't okay to talk about any more".
"I was not only fascinated with Mia and her father's story but I also recognised the importance of feeling okay to ask bigger questions such as 'are you obliged to have family members in your life who have totally opposing views to you?'"
Goodwin said the film investigated the generational conflict between father and daughter through the impacts of communicating via social media.
The film's producer Kate Goodwin said it would resonate with every young woman who'd had awkward conversations with their dad. Photo / Supplied
"Children and their parents have always fought, but what impact does communicating through 120 characters on Facebook have on relationships? Are unresolved issues from the past exacerbated when we don't talk to each other face to face?"
Despite her father's depiction in the film, Mia said Gus appreciated its honesty and felt it was an accurate portrayal of their relationship.
"He's very proud of the piece."
Gus told the Herald: "There were truths that hurt but I am happy to know the truth. That is what it's all about."
