Lifting lid on funerals

By KATHERINE HOBY

New Zealanders are done with death and funerals veiled in mystery, ritual, and secrecy. And their new-found directness includes price-sensitive farewells.

"There is no mystery about funerals at all, or there need not be," says Wayne Lyons, president of the Funeral Directors Association of New Zealand.

"Funeral directors put people before profit "99 per cent of the time", says the spokesman for 85 per cent of the country's 145 funeral practices.

"There is no point in us selling someone an expensive funeral they can't afford."

The cost of funerals and the whole process of death has never been so much in the limelight. The success of Six Feet Under, the American series recently departed from our television sets, has sparked interest here and overseas in the funeral business, its trappings and costs.

Andrew Malcolm is the managing director of the Kapiti Coast Funeral Home toured by 100 visitors during an open day last weekend. "People want to know who and what they're dealing with. Death isn't so scary that way," he says.

All the visitors had different agendas. Many asked where the embalming studio was - and then either stayed well away or went straight to the room.

Mr Malcolm, who has been dealing with the dead and the bereaved for 19 years, says the "traditional, hush-hush, stick-in-the-mud, closed book" funeral director has died out.

Stephen Dil has worked in his family's firm, Dil's Funeral Services, in Auckland, for 10 years.

"Families can spend money they don't have at such an emotional time and I see it as our responsibility not to let them do that," he says.

There are three major funeral costs - the casket, professional service fees and disbursements. At Dil's, casket prices range from $495 plus GST for a particle-board box to $6650 plus GST for "the Rolls-Royce of caskets". Made of solid US hardwood, it has a memory safe for letters and keepsakes.

Most people go for a casket in the $735-$1000 range. The $1000 MDF board casket with mahogany effects, is the top choice.

"New Zealanders are pretty practical and down-to-earth about things when it comes to it," says Mr Dil.

A crematorium will not receive a body unless it is in a suitable container, he says.

"But you can make your own. People do all sorts of a things. We had a guy - a modelmaker - who made himself a model Dutch canalboat to be sent off in."

He charges $2195 plus GST in professional service fees, and says other directors often break the charge down into individual fees.

Mr Dil's one-off cost includes everything from collecting the body from the place of death, to obtaining permission for cremation, to taking out newspaper notices.

If the business was a supermarket, he says, "the funeral directors would be personal shoppers, finding out what was wanted and going to select things off the shelves."

"This service fee allows us to take the stress off a person's shoulders."

Disbursements, the third cost, vary hugely and cover third-party expenses: flowers, reception, a death certificate, an organist, an urn. Mr Dil had one Asian family spend $3000 on flowers alone.

He puts the cost of the average funeral at $5000 for a cremation, and $7500 for a burial, with much of the cost being the plot.

One of his most expensive funerals cost $15,000, and several took care of $10,000. A truly basic funeral - a service but no extras (flowers, reception, newspaper notice) would cost $3687 at Dil's.

Ruth Hanna, manager at Tilton Opie and Pattinson Ltd, has organised funerals for 14 years and believes their mystique has evaporated.

"We encourage as much participation as people are comfortable with," she says. "I encourage people to dress the body, to have the person at home. And I've never had anyone say 'I wish I hadn't done that'."

Mrs Hanna says she is careful to go through funeral costs with a customer.

"I always say: Is this going to be manageable? how can we make it so?

"We are a business, and remain a business, but most of us are in business because we care about families."

She considers it a good idea for older people to make their funeral wishes known. "That way, you get what you want rather than a stock standard funeral or something that really isn't you.

"Prearrangement might seem unpleasant, but it takes away a lot of doubt and indecision.

"I have seen families virtually paralysed because they don't know what to do with a loved one's ashes."

The average cost of a funeral with cremation is $3500 to $4000, Mrs Hanna says. Add about $1000 for a burial.

The budget option at Tilton Opie and Pattinson Ltd costs $2900 and a $10,000 funeral is the most expensive funeral Mrs Hanna has organised.

Caskets cost between $400 and $6500. The basic professional service fee is $1095. Other costs include embalming ($345), a hearse ($195), and transfer from place of death ($150). All of these prices without GST.

"It is like anything in life. If you're not well-informed, you don't know if you're being overcharged, undercharged or have all the options," she says.

"Most people in the industry go out of their way to make sure people are well-informed."

A Consumer magazine survey this year puts a standard funeral cost at about $5000, and the average funeral director's fee at $2000.

It says funeral costs can vary from region to region, and cremations are a city thing - 75 per cent of city funerals are cremations. In the country, 90 per cent are burials.

Sidestepping the taboos

Paul Briggs, of Hira, near Nelson, says he and a friend arranged a funeral for his friend's mother-in-law.

"That was a real eye-opener," he says.

His friend's mother-in-law had not wanted the family to spend a lot of money on her funeral.

"We pretty much did the whole lot ourselves," he says.

"As much as it was possible we arranged the funeral ourselves - just the two of us."

He said the pair spent $500 for a cremation. His friend made the coffin, and transported the body to the crematorium in the back of his van.

"When you think of how elaborate a coffin is sometimes, and then it is either burned or buried - is it really necessary? People are very concerned about appearances."

The process of organising a funeral without the help of a director was "quite a paper trail".

"Some people are not used to dealing with these things and will just accept what they're told. You might have to push for the true bottom price."

He believed many people were still overwhelmed by the mystery and tradition of death.

"Death and money do not make a good conversation combination. I think it's still hush-hush for many old-schoolers."