KEY POINTS:
An Auckland woman haunted by memories of rape by policemen who gave her a lift home from Queen St was one of 200 people who contacted the commission of inquiry into police conduct.
The 50-year-old psychotherapist laid a complaint with Auckland City police in 2004 but an investigation could not establish the identity of the officers and the file is now closed.
She said Louise Nicholas gave her the courage to make a formal complaint. She never gave evidence to the commission of inquiry but provided a signed statement.
"From time to time [over the years] that memory would come back and I'd think I should do something and I didn't, it just felt too overwhelming," she said.
"[Louise Nicholas] gave me the courage and the strength to take that step."
The woman had been out with work colleagues on a Friday night in the autumn of 1980.
"Exhausted and a bit drunk," she sat down on Queen St, opposite the Town Hall, around 10pm.
A patrol car stopped. One of the two officers inside asked if she wanted a ride home and she accepted the offer to be taken to her flat in Meadowbank.
"I made them a cup of coffee, we all had a cup of coffee, and by that time I had sobered up."
The woman said she thanked the officers and said goodbye.
But one of the officers - described as aged in his mid-20s, part-Maori and with a big build, dark curly hair and a moustache - followed her into her bedroom, saying, "Come on, you're wanting it, aren't you?"
The woman said she struggled with him but he pushed her to the floor and forced her to perform oral sex.
She said the officer called his colleague into the room. The second man was younger, aged about 21, and quiet. He was European, with thick reddish-blond hair.
He seemed "very uncomfortable" but the woman said the older man told him to hold her down on the bed.
She said he held her legs while the other policeman raped her. She continued to struggle and he struck her in the face.
"What I remember during the rape is he said to me, 'You're lucky it's me doing this, you slut'. Those are the words I remember. Then they just disappeared."
The woman said she pushed away the memory for years, "because I knew that nobody would believe me".
But her life changed. She lost her confidence and was afraid of going out or staying home by herself.
She changed flat six months later.
"Anywhere didn't feel safe any more."
Investigating officer Detective Constable Simon Welsh said it was a difficult investigation because of the historical nature of the inquiry.
The investigation could not establish for sure whether the men were police or traffic officers, he said.
But the woman said she believed the men were police.
The year-long investigation involved searches for records of police working in Auckland City around the time of the allegations.
Mr Welsh said the records held very little information and did not show when particular staff were working.
"There were hundreds working at Auckland Central . . . We couldn't pin it down to the day it occurred so it really was becoming infeasible to pursue it further if we couldn't narrow it down."
The woman said the investigation process - "to be in contact with police officers who believed me and were taking my case seriously and were sensitive" - was part of the healing process.
