Ruth Wong: Kotahitanga and what it means to me

Ruth Wong with her children Hemi and Leilani.

On 20 January this year, Kiingi Tūheitia Pōtatau Te Wherowhero VII hosted a national hui to mobilise iwi Māori to come together and unite.

An estimated 10,000 Māori and non-Māori from around Aotearoa descended on Turangawaewae Marae. It was a great gathering for Māori and non-Māori alike who share in our grief due to government changes that have impacted, and will continue to impact, on what’s important to us.

For our Kahungunu Bus and vans, the trip from Waipatu Marae to Ngaruawahia was fun.

It was a celebration for all of us, not only to arrive at one place and be greeted by our whānau in Tainui, for me and others on our bus, we enjoyed the ride.

It was a great time of whanaungatanga, a time to share, laugh, sing, listen to stories, watch the little girl from Wairoa play games with nanny from Waimarama and listen to laughter in the back of the bus.

Our iwi chairman Bayden Barber is quite the orator and rattled off the history of our Kahungunu ancestors, connecting everyone up from all over the nation.

I got to know Toro Waka better, a man who was my CEO when I first started working at the iwi office in 2000. We chatted, we laughed, and he shared his experience and personal devastation of Cyclone Gabrielle. It was a really good drive up and back from Ngaruawahia.

I’m sharing this because I’ve been a part of the team at iwi office helping with all of the exciting things surrounding the government changes, the anxiety, the unity and hearing thoughts and ideas, models of Kotahitanga from all kinds of people young and old, some with different backgrounds and interests.

It has been very interesting and good to be a part of the whole discussion in the air, like an innocent fly on the wall.

I had to ask myself what I think Kotahitanga is, and how it resonates with me in my life.

To me Kotahitanga is the way we do things.

All of us have a set of values. Those values are portrayed in the people we hang around with, the kind of food we eat, the drink we drink, the clothes we wear, the jobs we have, the church we go to, the things we do in our lives, the very thoughts we have right now reading this, it’s everything.

I’m assuming that if someone is not reading this, it’s because they bypassed the word Kotahitanga in the heading. And that’s fine because we don’t all need to be the same or have the same interests.

Kotahitanga is definitely an action word. I was always taught by my Samoan Dad that actions speak louder than words.

“If you’re all talk and no walk, then sit down and keep quiet,” he’d say.

If thoughts precede action, then what we think is what we will do. I’m constantly realigning my thoughts with my actions or the other way around, to check myself. Kotahitanga for me right now, is unifying what I believe with what I do and if it’s not consistent, then it’s time to check myself.

What does Kotahitanga mean to you? If you don’t know what this word means, it’s ok. Send me your thoughts – ruth@kahungunu.iwi.nz