A Kiwi father-of-six says he is facing life without “the backbone of our family” after his wife received a devastating cancer diagnosis.
Michael “Mudzz” Tarei says his “world just shattered” when his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but is vowing to stay strong for their kids as their community rallies to support them through her final days and the uncertain future beyond.
Tarei and his 37-year-old wife Pania live and work in Australia and have faced a battle to survive financially after he had to quit work to nurse her and the Australian Government cut off support payments.
“I don’t want to lose her, and just my kids, them growing up without a mum,” a tearful Tarei told A Current Affair.
“I just need to just look at them and be around them and it just gives me the strength and courage to hold it all together.
“We found out Mother’s Day she got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and by the time we had scans, it had spread to her liver and everywhere.
“It just felt like my whole world had just shattered.”
Cancer diagnosis came after birth of twins
The couple’s youngest, Kyrie and Nevaeh, brought double joy to the family with their arrival in 2022 but, within a year of their birth, Pania was given the heartbreaking news.
“She was complaining of a sore back but she’d just had the twins six months before that, so we just thought it was from the birth of the twins,” Tareid told A Current Affair.
“[We] didn’t really think it was that bad until it got to a stage where she couldn’t really walk properly and then ... yeah, confirmed probably my worst nightmare, really.”
They initially hoped that she could beat the cancer but Tarei had to watch on as the “backbone of our family” was laid low by the aggressive disease.
“She’s not in a very good state. She can’t really do anything on her own,” he said.
“That’s the hard part, just seeing her because I know what kind of lady she was, she never liked anyone doing anything for her, she’d do it all on her own.
“She’s amazing. Best mother ever. Best partner. She always puts other people before herself and I’m just so grateful that I met her.”
Financial struggles
Tarei quit his work as a scaffolder to nurse his wife and her mother Shona came from Aotearoa to help with her care.
“It’s literally like she’s a baby again, very sad what she’s going through,” Shona said.
“It’s a big job, it’s a very big job when you got the grandchildren and you got Pania upstairs.”
“He carries Pania downstairs to her appointments in the wheelchair.”
She doesn’t have long left and Tarei wanted her at home, but their caring efforts have stretched the family’s finances to breaking point.
The family-of-eight have already had support from locals but they face an uphill battle to keep paying rent on the three-bedroom townhouse they crowd into in the Sydney suburb of Bankstown.
“Things are pretty rough at the moment,” Tarei admitted.
Then Pania was cut off from her benefit payments, compounding their problems.
“I’m not sure why,” he said. “I tried to contact them.”
“Whatever support we can get would be amazing... There’s definitely challenging times ahead,” he said.
He still needs to tell the kids just how sick their mum is.
“They know she’s sick but not how bad it is. I’m trying to wait for when the time is right to tell them.
“It’s going to be so hard.”
“We just got to stay strong for the kids and stay strong for her.”
‘Life-changing’ support pours in
After the proud dad reached out for help on Aussie TV the whānau received an outpouring of support, raising $500,000 from an online appeal and ensuring the family could stay in their Sydney home.
Media attention also saw the Australian Government reinstate support payments and offer backpay.