KEY POINTS:
www.bullshitjob.com
What do a principal markets manager, a direct implementation agent, a product creative executive and a central accountability producer have in common?
They are all fundamentally meaningless job titles created by the Bullshit Job Title Generator. You just know human resource departments use this a lot.
"Have a new hiring rec?" the site asks. "Can't think of an exciting title? Have a friend or relative you want to hire but they have no skills? Generate their title right here." And so, with one click of the button you can generate an infinite number of three-word titles that say absolutely nothing.
But that's not all you can do, because this site does not hold status in high regard. For a start, you can find out if your job is bullshit. As if you didn't already know.
You can also garner some totally believable, handy excuses for getting off work early ("I have to go home early because my pet was at the veterinarian and needs to be picked up") and find endless examples of pompous, but meaningless, work communications.
How about the email to an employee who had asked for some flexibility and/or a pay rise: "About that [employment contract] we talked about. You know our business can't run without you, your [sic] extremely important to the function of this organisation, however we can't make an exception for just one employee." Or this quote from a meeting: "We need to drill down on this marketing document to a fine degree of granularity."
Then there are the tips for managers, such as thanking employees for overtime by buying them a gift with a value much less than that of the overtime. This site is a cynic's heaven and you can take that from someone who has vast experience as a directive creative producer. Ashley Campbell
Send your nominations for work-related websites of the week to
ashley.campbell@nzherald.co.nz
