KEY POINTS:
So. there they were. Team New Zealand in Spain, up five-nought against those fabulously flamboyant Italians and what do they do?
Loosen up the sphinc - er - spinnaker? Nope. Kiss and hug?
Hell no. Way too gay.
They shook each other's hands. They back-slapped. There were even some high-fives.
There was, said head bloke Grant Dalton, a bit of "man love". But not too much, mind. "Just a little bit."
Hardly a stunning display of emotion, then.
Yet, extraordinarily, it created ripples around the world. Telly mentioned it. Radio too. Even Swiss newspaper Le Temps noted how usually stoic skipper Dean Barker had "allowed himself to indulge in the celebrations".
"Dean Barker, beer in hand, smiles at last. The skipper of Emirates Team New Zealand can finally open the tap on his emotions. Loosen up, for a few hours or so."
But was this really man-love?
No, said Gary Hermansson, who was team psychologist to the New Zealand Olympic Games Team in Sydney 2000 and Athens 2004
Definitely not, hurrumphed Jamie Linehan and Ben Boyce, aka Bill and Ben from television's Pulp Sport and man-love experts.
Hermansson said: "It was typical of Kiwi blokes. Part of it is that as a nation we are not good celebrators. We are desperately scared of appearing soft. Our traditions are based on that outdoorsy, dour, do-it-yourself, tackle the elements image, and part of the pioneering thing is you don't allow yourself to get overcome by emotions. You just get on and do."
Hermansson, who said he often deliberately hugged male acquaintances as an alternative to the traditionally homophobic "sword dance" of shaking hands, expected the Emirates Team New Zealand crew would have been "satisfied", rather than "happy" with their win.
"I don't think happy is a Kiwi term. Good blokes would be satisfied - let's not talk ourselves up too much."
Psychological therapist Jock Matthews, of Auckland's Rojolie Clinic, agreed Kiwi professional sportsmen could not be seen to be "too up themselves", and were generally extremely focused and driven.
"Those are potentially very positive traits but they usually mean you are likely to be emotionally guarded to some extent as well."
But Linehan and Boyce, whose Man-love Moments show clips of sportsmen congratulating each other in various physical ways, gave Dalton and the rest of Team NZ the big thumbs down for their "rather staunch" PDA attempt.
Even the Black Caps and league players showed more emotion.
"You look at league these days, they're all over each other. It's things they normally wouldn't do, but they get so caught up in the moment that they do things they might later regret."
However, the Pulp Sport pair observed that perhaps the best should be saved until the boys were drinking out of the Auld Mug.
"We don't just want this Louis Vuitton man-love, we want America's Cup man-love. You want to hold out till you've actually got something to show some man-love about."
If the Italians had won the Louis Vuitton, of course, it would have been another, far more passionate story.
There would be no worries about invading personal space, Wellington restaurateur Leonardo Bresolin, son of colourful Il Casino founder the late Remiro Bresolin, said. Italians didn't know what the word repression meant.
"God no. Italians talk with their hands, their bodies. It's part of their language, their way of life, the way they convey and express themselves.
"They would have been jumping up and down, kissing, the whole lot. It's the way we're brought up."
And what of the country's national game? Although not as over the top as the elaborately choreographed displays of man-love their NFL counterparts are capable of, our rugby players have definitely dropped their guard in recent times.
"They smile, and that's considerable progress," said Sports Minister Trevor Mallard.
