KEY POINTS:
Viva fashion writer Cathrin Schaer pens a letter to the 'how to dress' divas
Dear Trinny and Susannah,
I have been watching your shows and I was hoping we could be gal pals. I think you're funny, you love women, you're cute looking and, I know I shouldn't say this, but you're frightfully wealthy and you could probably invite me to some pretty good parties. And when you poke ladies in the tits and make jokes on TV, I just think that's the funniest.
But I'm just a bit worried that you won't want to be friends with me. Not because I wear a saggy bra, have a bit of a beer belly and worry I look stupid in certain frocks - although all of the above may be true at times. It's just that I'm scared you will think that, because I like certain sorts of expensive clothes - most of which I cannot afford and will never wear - that I am a fashion wanker.
I know that you're not big on fashion wankers. In fact, you don't really like fashion at all. What you are really into is making women feel empowered in nice clothes that won't get them laughed at. So good on you.
But I have one little problem with what you do. I think that in making yourselves look good, you've made a whole lot of other people look bad and given ordinary women the impression that fashion is some sort of evil monster. And I simply don't think this is true, ladies. Once upon a time, when five people in Paris dictated what the rest of the world should be wearing, you might have had a point. But these days fashion - real fashion - is everywhere. It's on the internet, and you can get down to the mall and buy yourself the latest designer imitations from a chain store. And yes, sure, just as there will always be status-obsessed fashion victims, there will always be folk who don't dress to their best advantage. And you'll be there to help them. But most of the rest of the world can make up their own minds - because fashion is a lot more democratic these days.
What upsets me even more is this: you've made your fans scared of fashion for your own ends. You say you don't want women to feel insecure - yet it seems that without your advice, they cannot possibly know how to dress and will remain insecure. Should every woman be trading in Vogue for your books?
Plus you've taken all the fun and individuality out of dressing up. By that I mean dressing up like a little kid uses a box of old clothes and pretends to be a princess - or a frog.
I might never want to wear some weird designer creation - but it can be quite inspirational.
Sorry, I won't go on. What I really wanted to say was this: Can't we all be fashion friends? I promise I'll never tell you what to wear.
