Playthings await new arrivals at the Pet Refuge for animal victims of domestic abuse. Photo / Alex Burton
Playthings await new arrivals at the Pet Refuge for animal victims of domestic abuse. Photo / Alex Burton
Warning: This article includes descriptions of animal abuse, and may be distressing.
OPINION
"Why don't you just leave?"
It's a question people who have never faced domestic violence sometimes put to those who have.
At Pet Refuge we hear reasons why not every day. And we are just a small partof the puzzle. Pet Refuge provides temporary shelter and care for pets affected by domestic violence, keeping them safe while their owners escape abuse.
Abusers will injure, or even kill animals. To hurt their partner and the kids, the abuser hurts their pets.
We have been told stories that rip your heart out. Of a jealous partner, arranging for an associate to run over a cat, after poisoning failed.
One woman gave her dog away to protect him, because her abuser was jealous of the dog because the dog loved her. He wouldn't just kick it, he would slam it against the wall, laughing. But he just got another dog and beat her instead. It didn't matter if the kids were there. And now this is forever a memory for them.
New Zealand's first Pet Refuge shelter temporarily cares for animals so their owners can escape violent relationships. Photo / Alex Burton
Another's abuser told her that if she left and the cats were still there, he would kill them and feed them to the dogs. Another held a mock court session to decide if his son's new puppy could live. The answer was of course no, so now the boy has to live with what happened next.
It is devastating for women and children to see their pets, often their rock, suffer pointlessly - to see the hurt on their babies' faces; not understanding what on earth they could have done wrong. But beyond that there are dozens of other barriers, we hear women encounter.
All preventing them from "just leaving".
Lost income and no savings for rent and bond, no money for a lawyer, difficulty finding a house or a job are top of the financial reasons. Abuse is not just about violence, women can be cut off from access to money.
Emotionally, some feel guilty, afraid, trapped. Many want to believe their partner will change. Some abusers even set up barriers, by lying to family and friends about the victim's own behaviour, as well as police or the family court.
And lesser known, is the issue that leaving doesn't mean automatic safety. Many perpetrators stalk their victims - the average is two years. A woman is in the most danger when she leaves.
So, what can we do alongside the work that we are currently doing, looking after pets while a woman escapes abuse? The issue affects more people than you might think.
Since opening just over a year ago we have helped more than 180 pets and their families leave abuse, and reunited 125 with their families in safety. We currently have 54 pets in our care and, in some cases, women have to make the heartbreaking decision to adopt their pet out to a new family because they can't find rental accommodation that will take pets.
But as a country, we can do much more to support women leaving violence.
Housing is top of our list – it's a huge issue. Many women have difficulty finding rental properties that will take pets and that puts additional pressure on them; some pets end up staying a long time at our Pet Refuge shelter. We are currently running at capacity and have launched an urgent appeal.
Nearly two-thirds of Kiwi households own at least one pet, while less than a tenth of landlords allow pets due to worry that damage may occur to their property. In my opinion, we need to look to Australia.
Julie Chapman. Photo / Alex Burton
In Western Australia, landlords can legally charge a separate pet rental bond to cover the cost of any damage your pet causes to the property and I would love to see this introduced here. The pet bond cannot be charged to owners of assistance dogs and could give landlords peace of mind so they feel they can say yes to pets.
In New Zealand, landlords don't have to accept pets and can't charge a bond beyond four weeks rent. Until recently, landlords have had their pick of tenants. Of course, they pick those without pets as they're worried about damage. But people with pets often stay longer in a property and are great tenants as they know how hard pet-friendly rentals are to find. Imagine the satisfaction of helping someone restart their life fresh with their beloved pet, free from abuse.
Pets are family and it's time we had this conversation and time for solutions so that the women, children, and men we help don't continue to face an uphill battle to live a life free of violence, together with their pets .
