Allow two fat chops or fat belly strips per person. Sharpen your best knife. I bought a knife years ago from an Asian store for $10, used it for everything for a month, then went back and bought two more, and I’m confident the three of them will see me out. Sharpen your knife ‘til you’re scared of it. Sharpen it ‘til it sets your teeth on edge just to look at it. Now cut the skin off the fat. Pare it as thinly as you can. Try to lose no fat. Fat loss is sadness.
Lay the skinned meat, the flayed meat, in an oven tray, pepper it liberally, salt it even more liberally and put it into the oven at standard oven temperature. Then pour wine into a glass. I favour those modern stemless glasses. They don’t chime as musically as stemmed glasses, but they hold more and fall over less often.
You are pouring wine because it is time to put your feet up. The hard work is done. What remains of this recipe is a stroll down Doddle Avenue.
There was a chocolate bar in my youth called a Crunchie that had a heart of honeycomb. That’s the crystalline texture you want in your pig fat. As it approaches that texture, it gives off a distinct aroma that activates the salivary glands.
When you smell that smell, cut up onions, one per person, and fry them in a big hot pan. Cut up mushrooms, several per person, and add them to the big hot pan. Now put plenty of frozen sweetcorn into the microwave. Microwaves are very good for heating frozen vegetables and for absolutely nothing else. Tip the hot corn into the big hot pan.
Now comes the nub of Pork Bennett. Add sweet chili sauce to the big hot pan. How much? The amount that feels right, plus a tad. Then add roughly the same amount of - are you ready now? - Worcestershire sauce.
Why these two work so well together, I can’t tell you. But once you have joined them in culinary matrimony, you will not want to tear them asunder. Stir the big hot pan.
If the fat is crunchy, take the meat from the oven, remove any bones and dice what’s left into half-inch cubes. Try not to drool on it while dicing. Divide the diced meat into bowls. Divvy up the contents of the big hot pan. Salt each bowl with sea salt. Add a knob of butter for that extra bit of fat. Eat with a spoon and shiraz. Feel your knees tremble, then dissolve with delight. Pork Bennett.