I think I’ve lost a close friend and I feel incredibly sad about it. There was no big dramatic fight or falling out. Despite my best efforts, I lost said friend because they’ve well and truly fallen down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole. Out of respect, and for theirprivacy, in this article I’ll refer to this friend as “Tracey”.
It all started during the beginning of the pandemic when Tracey began sharing stuff about child paedophile rings being connected to the world’s elite in some secret child trafficking ring. From there, her social media posts began to delve into anti-vax territory and language like “sheep” and “wake up!” were being thrown around a lot.
She would re-post quotes mocking those of us who were choosing to be vaccinated and proceeded to tell me I was dumb to fall for it. Tracey and I and go way back, and I felt perfectly comfortable telling her we’d have to agree to disagree on the matter. I was determined not to allow my personal beliefs affect my friendships with those I knew who were opposed to the vaccines.
Life would be incredibly beige and one-dimensional if we were all carbon copies. I’ve never liked the idea of living in an echo chamber where I’m not challenged or exposed to different ideas that push me to expand my world lens. Variety is the spice of life, after all. I actually have quite a few acquaintances and friends who, for their own personal reasons, chose not to get vaccinated. We’ve been able to maintain a mutual level of respect for our differences of opinion.
However, my friend Tracey was the exception. She loved to offer unsolicited opinions and openly criticise me in the most blatantly antagonising manner. Still, I chose to focus on the many good things I loved about her and our years of history together. I wasn’t prepared to lose her over something like this. As time went on, it became more apparent that my wonderful friend had jumped on the modern conspiracy culture bandwagon and things weren’t slowing down. I guess once you take a detour from regular life, you enter into this bizarre world of social media channels, books, websites, and YouTube videos that all claim to reveal hidden truths about the world. I imagine it could be rather all-consuming and, once you’re in that world, it must be difficult to extricate oneself.
Things got weirder and harder to navigate as my friend got bolder and louder with her views. According to her, Andrew Tate was a stand-up guy who was framed. We would go back and forth, as I desperately tried to appeal to her sense of logic. It didn’t matter that Tate was a self-proclaimed misogynist, Tracey insisted that he was misunderstood and actually inspiring. I couldn’t believe my strong, outspoken friend was a fan of a man who literally believes rape victims must “bear responsibility” for their attacks.
Andrew Tate: "I'm not a misogynistic person. I'm a traditional person." Photo / Andrew Tate, Instagram
Things continued to go downhill, Tracey reshared a post to her Instagram that featured a diverse group of transgender and non-binary people with the headline “People Have Periods” to which her sentiment was: “I refuse to accept these people are normal.”
It stopped me in my tracks. I’ve always prided myself in being liberal and accepting, but I was struggling - I felt myself grieving for the old version of Tracey that I knew and loved, clinging tightly to all the good memories of her, of us. I prayed that any day now, she’d miraculously emerge from the rabbit hole.
Well, the latest conspiracy bomb she’s dropped on me might be the proverbial straw that breaks this camel’s back. Tracey’s also a climate change denier now, too.
Yup, my friend apparently believes that climate change is a hoax. Much like old mate Maureen Pugh, who said last week she was “yet to see” evidence of man-made climate change, before her U-turn later in the day when she said she accepted “the scientific consensus” that it was real.
In the wake of the recent floods and Cyclone Gabrielle, not to mention the extreme weather events happening all over the globe, I just don’t know how any sane person can refuse to believe that climate change poses a very real threat. Numerous studies have documented the impacts of climate change, including rising temperatures, sea level rise, more frequent and intense extreme weather events, changes in precipitation patterns, and biodiversity loss. The scientific evidence for climate change is robust, and denying its reality can impede efforts to mitigate its impacts and adapt to the changes that are already underway. In my lifetime, I’ve never witnessed a more polarising and divisive time period than the past several years.
The pandemic was a catalyst for so much change and friction. I have heard many stories of how relationships have been tested and, in some cases, ties severed completely. I think I’ve reached a point where I have no choice but to draw a line in the sand and admit defeat. My friend has burrowed so deep that I literally and figuratively can’t reach her any more. I’m exhausted at having to constantly defend and explain myself to someone who relentlessly criticises all of my core values and beliefs.
Is this the end for me and Tracey? I still remain hopeful but, for now, I’ve added a metaphorical lock on my front door, so she can’t just let herself in any time she likes. This is what self-preservation looks like for me in 2023. Boundaries, baby!
