Jack Tame: Not just Trump's ego is healthy

The internet would have it, wrongly, that Hillary Clinton has brain damage, seizures and a sixth toe. Photo / AP

I don't know if you know, but Donald J Trump would be the single healthiest person ever elected President of the United States.

The. Single. Healthiest.

Ever.

Yep, don't take my word for it. Take those of Dr Harold Bernstein, a New York doctor who has apparently been Trump's quack for 30-something years.

I do wonder, judging by the letter he provided for Trump's campaign, whether spending so much time with The Don has somehow rubbed off on the good doctor's vocabulary.

In the letter, Bernstein describes his patient's blood pressure as "astonishingly excellent".

"His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary." A medical examination of Trump's every nook and cranny returned "only positive results".

Bernstein's letter finishes with a dramatic flurry more normally associated with his patient's lexicon than with the language of someone in the medical profession.

"If elected, Mr Trump, I can say unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency."

The. Healthiest. Ever. And you're sure Trump didn't pen the note?

Shame about Hillary Clinton, though. You only need to read the internet to know she won't be getting a matching assessment.

According to long-time Republican playmaker, Karl Rove, Clinton suffered a traumatic head injury and brain damage.

It's true, Clinton fainted and suffered a concussion in 2012 while working as Secretary of State, but the internet seems to know more about her health these days than Hillary or her doc.

Add to the 30 days that Clinton apparently spent in hospital (she didn't), the repeated seizures she apparently suffers (she doesn't) and her apparent sixth toe (which surely, if it existed, would give her better balance, not worse).

A sixth toe. How else could you possibly explain why a woman who's trying to become America's first female president doesn't walk around in roman sandals day and night? Wake up, sheeple!

Dr Ben Carson, failed candidate and a supposed medical expert, responded to Clinton's myriad medical conspiracies by proposing "elderly" presidential candidates be required to release their medical records.

Clinton and Trump are old for presidential candidates. At 70, Trump would be the oldest first-term president in US history. But candidates' health hasn't concerned too many people in the past.

Few voters would have withdrawn their support for Chris Christie in the Republican Primaries simply because of his enormous waist. Few voters who might have otherwise backed Barack Obama would've voted for one of his opponents because Bammy still smokes the odd cigarette.

When you think about it, though, Carson's basic point isn't as absurd as it might seem. Every other aspect of a candidate's life is open to public scrutiny - although Trump, for some reason, remains the only major party candidate in 30-odd years not to release his taxes.

And isn't a president's health as relevant to their ability to perform in a job as it might be for a professional athlete? Any NBA or NFL rookie is only signed and paid once they've passed a thorough medical test.

Besides, Clinton and Trump wouldn't be the first candidates to detail all their ingrown toenails and gastro-illnesses for the world to peruse and compare.

John McCain released 1000 pages of his medical history when he ran for president in 2008. But then, he'd spent years in a Vietnam POW camp and is still incapable of lifting his arms above his head.

Perhaps releasing a complete medical history is a touch extreme.

But some basic physical standards could be a prerequisite for anyone who wants the Oval Office. If Hillary Clinton needs an appointment, I'm sure Bernstein could fit her in.

Otherwise, voters should do what you'd hope they'd already considered: Vote for a presidential candidate with a half-decent Veep.

Jack Tame is on NewstalkZB, Saturdays, 9am-noon