Wrestler-turned-state governor Jesse Ventura sued the estate of a sniper. Photo / AP
Once upon a time I met some slimeballs at a bar.
One sentence and you just knew they were swine, all grease and fat and chauvinism.
"New Zealand sounds all right. This place's getting worse by the day," said one. He complained about new legislation that'd make it harder for patients to sue doctors.
"So you guys are lawyers?" I asked.
"Negligence attorneys," said one guy.
"Or whatever these guys can pass off as negligence!" his friend interrupted, and they exploded with laughter.
Stupid civil lawsuits in the United States are so common, a bevy of organisations exists to record the stupidest for means of reform and entertainment. You may've heard some of 2013's finest:
• The 32-year-old man suing his parents for "indifference to his problems";
• The Tennessee man suing Apple for his internet porn addiction;
• Or the knife-wielding Arizona robber suing the shop owner who shot him in self-defence.
This week in the US we've had a few hot contenders for the 2014 list.
Jesse Ventura, the professional wrestler-turned-state governor, successfully sued the estate of America's most-lethal military sniper. Veteran Navy Seal Chris Kyle, who was murdered last year, claimed in his autobiography to have bumped into Ventura at a bar and argued. Kyle claimed he punched Ventura who, he said, "went down".
Ventura told a court it never happened and the court agreed, finding he had been defamed.
Of course, the whole thing is totally stupid but Ventura claimed his reputation had been harmed by Kyle's claims and nothing restores a reputation like suing a man's widow. Ventura was awarded almost NZ$2million.
Still, that lawsuit could finish a close second to the one brought by Republicans in the US House of Representatives.
Despite fairly tenuous legal grounding, they've just agreed to sue the president for some of his actions on healthcare reform.
Good.
There's a priority.
Instead of working within Congress to achieve the reform they desire, the Grand Old Party considers a dubious lawsuit a better use of time and money.
Actually, maybe suing for negligence isn't such a bad thing after all.
The 19-year-old was found in a remote area in the hills of Upper Hutt.