In the past year, more than 20,000 calls have been answered by Samaritans, of which half were picked up by Wellington volunteers.
Lester was playing handball with friends in the afternoon before he found out his dad had taken his own life. A message to the school that he needed to go home straight after class didn’t reach him.
A school counsellor helped his mum in telling her children about the death. He spotted Lester on the way to their house and told him to get in the car as something had happened at home.
“They didn’t say how he’d died, just that he’d died. It was pretty upsetting at the time for all three of us brothers”, Lester said.
“It wasn’t actually until later on that we found out how my father died. It was pretty gutting.”
Lester’s parents had separated but his dad was still close with the kids, and they had recently stayed with him during the school holidays.
His mum was on a benefit and had to go to a Work and Income office to get money for a bus fare to Nelson, where the funeral was to be held.
“It was a long trip on a bus when you’re 11, on the way to your dad’s funeral.”
Lester said he lacked the courage to talk to anyone about what happened and often told people his dad had died following heart problems.
“I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I was even afraid I’d do the same thing one day.”
No one talked about suicide back then, he said.
“When you’re a kid, you just want to fit in and be accepted. You don’t want to talk about a father who killed himself.”
Eight years later, Lester got a scholarship to live in East Germany as part of a high school exchange programme.
For the first time, he spoke openly about his dad’s suicide during the process of his host family getting to know him.
“You realise all of a sudden that actually, it wasn’t something to be ashamed about or embarrassed about. I’d done some growing up. Also, because I was in a foreign environment, it just felt easier to talk about it.”
Lester can recall his dad saying he hoped his children knew he cared if anything happened to him.
With the benefit of hindsight, Lester said it was a cry for help.
His dad’s story taught Lester that it’s crucial to reach out for support when things become too much.
“He might still be with us if he had sought help or talked to someone about his pain.
“Today, I’m committed to supporting the Samaritans to spread awareness about mental health. Let’s create an environment where talking openly about our emotions is encouraged, not stigmatised.
“It’s time to break the silence. It’s okay to talk.”
The Wellington Samaritans’ annual street appeal will take place this Saturday.
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906• Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234
• What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)
• Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)
• Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
Georgina Campbell is a Wellington-based reporter who has a particular interest in local government, transport, and seismic issues. She joined the Herald in 2019 after working as a broadcast journalist.
