KEY POINTS:
Any of you will have heard that TVNZ recently had to lay off a number of staff in an effort to cut costs. Sadly, this drastic measure is one I too have had to take in an effort to cut costs and keep the column alive.
Specifically, effective immediately, I have had to let three ghost writers go, with a possible fourth being made redundant in October. One of the downstairs spellcheckers has already left and a second will be asked to work on a part-time basis. He will also be expected to workshare with Colin from the font department. These decisions have not been easy but they have been necessary to ensure the long-term future and quality of this weekly column. I am confident that these changes will not affect the overall quality of the column; however the readers may initially notice some changes.
The most obvious change is how many words we are able to get "across ways" into a standard line.
Normally this is around five or six; however, for the first part of the column, we are only able to do, on average, three. Fastidious readers may notice a few more typos and spelling errors but this is a necessary evil to ensure the overall content isn't compromised.
The spelling issue is one I think we may be able to address a little later in the year with some fundraising drives.
One idea mentioned by Glenda in the mailroom was to run a sausage sizzle outside the Pak'N Save. This is one of many ideas we are considering and the last thing Glenda contributed to the team before she lost her job. We wish her all the best for the future, but to be honest it is hard to imagine her getting a job anywhere else. Her CV wasn't exactly the stuff that even warrants a courtesy call saying, "You haven't got the job", but her willing-to-learn attitude and her willingness to sleep with me on an as-needed basis kept her employed for the past three years.
Regrettably I am unable to give her a testimonial as I was happily married at the time.
I recently employed the services of an overseas consultant to research what readers wanted from my column. This initiative wasn't cheap and the cost of doing so ironically probably had a direct impact on the people who have lost their jobs. The data was inconclusive but interesting. This Cincinnati-based research company concluded that most people prefer my column to be around 750 to 800 words long, and have a picture placed in an easy-to-see location like in the middle of the article. This confirmed our own thoughts and it is something we are going to stick with. As far as content goes it seems that nobody really cares what I write about except the editor, and he wasn't part of the survey.
I will be taking much more of a hands-on role and writing some of the columns myself.
This getting back-to-basics, working at the coalface, so to speak, will be invaluable as I will experience first hand what it's like to write a column. Some of you may have heard that I have also had to let one of my researchers go. I want to stress, and go on the record as saying this redundancy has nothing to do with cost cutting but is a disciplinary matter. Although, technically, he has name suppression I feel, as his employer, that I am well within my rights to say that Gordon Gateman has been sacked for sexual misconduct. In a nutshell he was running a themed brothel from his mezzanine office.
Gordon is a respected researcher but he needs to be aware that this kind of practice will not be tolerated, especially at those exorbitant prices. We will miss Gordon but probably not as much as he will miss his job. We wish him, Jennifer and the new twins all the best for the future.
On a more positive note we welcome to the team Hans Oberieider. Hans will join Caleb in the issues department and oversee all the issue-based columns. Hans will be very hands-on and car-pool with Frank, Howard and Dipak.
Readers may experience some re-hashing of content this year, but once again this is to be expected with the restructuring. Columns on average will also be shorter and the cheaper imported ink may stain your hands. Ted from logistics says this particular column is three minutes over duration so I will leave it here.
