KEY POINTS:
Is it simply a coincidence that just as our elected leaders propose the quasi-nationalisation of a portion of Auckland's port for a monument to their philanthropic largesse, the Army trumpets the news that it has bought shotguns for the express intent of quelling unrest in a non-lethal manner?
Was it likewise a coincidence the Army's newly purchased armoured vehicles, the LAV3s, trundled down Queen St only last Friday?
The fact that it was cynically billed as a public relations exercise surely makes this brazen display of armed might all the more despotic.
Should we be expecting such opposition to the stadium that troops will be called out to quell potential street pandemonium? Or is it simply a rational response to the problem of South Auckland street gangs?
Perhaps the Army is merely preparing a valiant shotgun-based defence against the expected bird-borne pandemic? If we notice an increase in our military's construction of maimais, we might be able to relax.
It seems, though, that there is a valid reason for the acquisition of the arms, which was superbly articulated by the Army's small arms replacement project officer, Major Gordon Benfell.
Said the major, "The problem in situations of civil disorder is that soldiers have no response between voice control - 'Stop, don't do that' - and lethal use of their rifles."
Perhaps if they said Please?
This certainly seems like something of an oversight, given the number of countries to which we have sent troops to quell unrest.
It's reassuring that should there be an uprising at home, citizens will be treated with non-lethal respect, as the shotguns can fire beanbag rounds which are described as being ideal for behaviour modification.
Will they shoot these beanbags in the general direction of the troublemakers, and suggest they sit themselves down in them, put their feet up, and consider the ramifications of their actions?
Initially the concept of deterrence by beanbag seemed rather wholesome until further research indicated that the "beanbags" contain 40 grams of lead shot. Little wonder they have such wonderful names as the Power Punch.
A website that sells them says the humbly-named beanbags can incapacitate through causing loss of breath, psychological effect, and the resultant pain and extreme discomfort.
Apparently there is an even larger version suitable for use with a grenade launcher. I imagine being hit by one of those would certainly smart.
But it seems that a little heavy fauna can reduce the efficiency of the round.
Noting this, a question arises - was the removal of the trees from Queen St a pre-emptive move to strip potential cover from the disenchanted mobs?
Whether we will see Clark's Cossacks on the streets remains to be seen. Let's hope that if we do, our forces won't, in lieu of the traditional but expensive water-cannon, be issued with water pistols. That would be humiliating for everyone involved.
