KEY POINTS:
If there's one thing about the festive season that continues to haunt me it's the vexing question of why exactly it was that the Red Baron, despite having Snoopy dead in his sights, did not then shoot him down.
Was it really the sound of the bells in the village below? Surely he couldn't have heard them over the sound of his aeroplane motor?
Perhaps it was simply that, having shot down over 80 men and no doubt having lost many, if not all of his original companions, the Red Baron was wearying of the inhumanity of it all.
What few realise is the long history between the two airmen (well, one airman and a pooch that could pilot a plane). Their battles had played themselves out over two previous songs, during which they had both downed each other and subsequently fought an inconclusive pistol duel on the ground.
Thus, in the Royal Guardsmen's Snoopy's Christmas, the third of the songs, Snoopy finds himself caught with ice on his wings, whereupon the Red Baron forces him to land in order to offer him a holiday toast.
Why do I mention any of this? Only that there may be parallels with events in a year where chivalry has been noticeably absent.
In the spitefully banal battleground of our Parliament, a rare moment of pre-Christmas detente was squandered as neither Helen Clark nor Winston Peters had the civility to dally in the parliamentary chamber long enough to listen to Don Brash's valedictory speech. Maybe they, too, felt the chill wind of their enforced valedictories looming.
It will be no surprise either that there will be no human decency extended by our own Immigration Minister to Thomas Yadegary, an Iranian who arrived here 13 years ago, converted to Catholicism, and who has lived what is said to be a blameless and productive life since. However, as his application for refugee status has been declined, he will continue to languish in prison until he signs a waiver absolving our Government of any moral or legal responsibility should he be harmed upon his return to Iran.
Of course Iran has promised him safe haven. They don't hang apostates, they say, only homosexuals.
Needless to say, as the year closes these dramas pale into insignificance as the so-called Clash of Civilisations continues to spill the blood of innocents across the globe.
Does Snoopy have an answer? Forty years after the release of their original song, the Royal Guardsmen have released another epic, Snoopy vs Osama.
In this more jingoistic song, Snoopy, relegated to the motor pool, is called in to ease a troop shortage. After surviving a roadside bomb that destroys his vehicle, he spies Osama standing in a cloud of dust in the distance. Smiling, Snoopy raises his pistol and shoots him dead. Terror is defeated.
So, while we'll never really know why the Red Baron didn't shoot, let us not forget his immortal words: "Merry Christmas, mein friend". Perhaps there's a message in there somewhere.
