Stephen Tetley-Jones: State should not reward dysfunction

COMMENT

A loving home - a child doesn't need much else yet so many children don't even have that.

When I recall the horrible record of domestic child killings in the last decade or so I can't help but notice how the desperately dysfunctional family is there in all of the cases.

Two-year-old Delcelia Witika died on a filthy mattress of peritonitis and internal bleeding in a case that shocked the nation in December 1991.

Her mother, Tania Witika, had gone to a party with boyfriend Eddie Smith. When she returned, Delcelia was dead in a pool of blood and vomit.

Smith was found guilty of administering the beatings that killed Delcelia. Tania Witika was found to be an accessory for failing to seek help. She knew what was going on.

James Whakaruru upset his stepfather, Benny Haerewa, by refusing to call him dad. So Haerewa beat him to death with a vacuum cleaner pipe.

This case was all the worse because there were many occasions when Haerewa's abuse could have been halted by the intervention of civil authorities.

Indeed, little more than two years before he killed little James, Haerewa was jailed for assaulting the boy. But the woman-child who was James' mother was unable to live without the violent Haerewa.

In April 1998, her terrible choice played out to the end when Haerewa killed James. He was not yet 5.

Tangaroa Matiu upset his stepfather, too, though Genesis James Mahanga is clearly not a father in any form.

Like James Whakaruru, Tangaroa's crime was a minor one. One day in January 2000 he soiled his pants, not an unusual occurrence for a 3-year-old.

Mahanga beat him to death with a fence paling.

Saliel Aplin and Olympia Jetson died at the hands of their stepfather, Bruce Howse, supposedly to hide his sexual molestation of the 11- and 12-year-olds.

Mereana Edmonds, aged 6, died at the hands of her mother in 1999. Belinda Edmonds and her lesbian lover had systematically beaten her for the five months that Mereana had lived with them.

And who can forget Hinewaoriki Karaitiana Matiaha, better known as Lillybing. We remember her for her soulful little face.

She died before she reached 2 of a brain injury but it was the evidence of sexual violation and mistreatment that shocked the nation.

Despite the despicable nature of her death, her family closed ranks and frustrated police efforts to get to the truth.

What a shocking record. It's no wonder Unicef has found New Zealand to be the third-worst for violent child deaths among developed nations. It's some wonder we are not the worst.

The bureaucrats are already prescribing their solution and the familiar cry about repealing section 59 of the Crimes Act is once again being heard.

It seems abundantly clear, though, that repeal of section 59 will not stop the carnage. Something more sinister is at work.

These children all died in circumstances of extreme family distress and dysfunction, not because the law gave their parents and guardians the right to administer a smack.

Most were killed by men who were not their father. Of the cases mentioned, only Mereana Edmonds and Lillybing died at the hands of someone other than a stepfather.

Most had mothers who were hopelessly unable, or at times unwilling, to protect them, whose own lives were a toxic mix of drugs, alcohol, de facto relationships and violence.

Many had extended families who suspected abuse but did not act because it was normal.

So let's stop pussyfooting around and face the obvious.

It might be trendy for Steve Maharey and others to suggest that there are many types of family today. He may try to argue that all types are equally good but it's a losing argument.

The terrible record I've just outlined shows clearly that some children are more likely to be abused and killed than others.

Carroll du Chateau, writing about the case of Tangaroa Matiu for the Herald, put it like this: "This is a world where girls get pregnant at 15 and hand their babies over to their parents.

"Where, by their 30s, many have several children by a series of men and move between rented houses with a restlessness born of shattered lives.

"Where one of the biggest drawcards for a man is a woman's domestic purposes benefit. Where almost everyone has clumsy blue tattoos - the badge of jail or the streets - on their hands.

"Where tough, brutal childhoods are routine, and where abuse breeds in the shadows."

If we want to reduce the number of our babies who live lonely and fear-filled lives and die abandoned or at the hands of a brute, we need policies that encourage lifelong commitment of parents to their children and to each other.

We've got to stop paying children to have children and all the other things the state does to reward dysfunction.

And we've got to do it quickly. For the children.

* Stephen Tetley-Jones is a father of four, businessman and presenter of a daily programme on Radio Rhema.