Sideswipe

Drivers passing the Mobil station on the corner of Ponsonby Rd and K Rd last Friday reported heart palpitations.

Brendan Lochead writes: "Companies nowadays use telemarketing companies to sell their services to the average punter, but it's so very annoying that in the past month or so we have been rung up three times by Sky TV. We already have Sky, as I politely explained the first time, laughed at their idiocy the second time, but being drawn away from my wife's pumpkin soup to be offered a discount for joining Sky TV a third time, I say enough is enough. Surely ... Sky TV can supply the telemarketing firm with the numbers of their existing clients?"

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Bored and pregnant, Britney Spears gets all deep about tigers on her website: "In some ways, people are a lot like animals," writes Britney. "We all hunger for the same things. Love, lust, danger, warmth and adventure. Like people, animals all have their own rhythm to life. I'm mesmerised by tigers. Their eyes, their stripes, their constant quest for survival. They almost have a sense of mysteriousness about them. They pull you in and make it difficult to look away. They make you wonder what is behind their gaze. A sense of eerie awe comes over you in their presence. The fear they give you when you pass them is stunning. Behold the beauty of the tiger."

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On Friday a historic meeting will take place. For the very first time, George W. Bush goes face to face with the Top 10 American Idols, including Taylor Hicks, who received more votes than the President. AP reports: "Hicks won the most recent season's contest May 24 after 63 million votes were cast for him in the season finale. That's more than the 59 million that Bush got in 2004, a record in any US presidential election. Although, to be fair, voters can cast more than one ballot on American Idol." (Source: tvtattle.com)

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A reader writes: "Did the clueless couple who took their three-week-old baby to an R16 film stop to consider that the rating ensures that the adult audience don't have to put up with shrieking infants? And considering the decibel level of most films, why subject a newborn to that racket? I suppose having been kicked out of the theatre, they then proceeded to the speedway ... "

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A reader pleads for Sideswipe's assistance with his domestic tragedy. "We purchased a champion 18-month-old exotic cat, male, jet black, no markings, distinctive flat face and amber eyes, from a prominent breeder. The breeder allowed us to bring him to our Grey Lynn home, despite her misgivings about our city environment and our suitability to own such a creature. We reassured her on every score and then, last Monday, we let him go missing. All our searching, all our pamphlets, all our door knocking and all our advertising has been to no avail. Our lives have been turned upside down by guilt and sadness so if you could give your readers these details, adding 360-1733 as a contact number, our gratitude would be bottomless".