Sideswipe: You could have just asked...

Mixed message on a gate at a school in Otara. Photo / Supplied

Someone left a note on Pearl's windscreen at St Lukes shopping mall and it wasn't pleasant. "I have had rheumatoid arthritis for over 20 years and in the last six months have had three major surgeries including reconstruction of both feet. I can't walk very far but one of my treats is to go to St Lukes for sushi. I always try to stand tall and 'walk like a normal person'. However, people will leave dreadful notes on my windscreen assuming I am abusing the disabled parking scheme, despite my displayed current disability card. This morning's note said 'I watched you park and walk in nothing wronge (sic) with you Selfish Bitch'. I don't go out much and trips like this morning are a joy that is all too often sabotaged by dreadful judgmental people like this."

THAT'S PUT ME OFF MY DINNER

An hysterical over-reaction among soap fans followed an Emmerdale episode showing a shopping list featuring "jam rags" and "piles cream", according to the Daily Mail. The crude reference to sanitary towels and haemorrhoid cream appeared on a blackboard shopping list in the background of a scene in Marlon Dingle's house.

WE KNOW WHAT CHANNEL IT IS, THANKS

Cameron Brunton writes: "I realise that TV stations want to maximise advertisement time to generate revenue but TV One is [pushing it] by chopping off the last two seconds of the programme's visual, leading into the ad breaks, and replacing it with its logo while still playing the programme's audio. What does it think it is doing? Other than annoying the viewers?"

DON'T BOTHER, I'LL DELIVER IT MYSELF

A reader from Christchurch: "Quote from NZ Post website explaining the increase in postage costs: 'The increase is necessary because the amount of mail we deliver is falling while the number of homes, farms and businesses to which we deliver is growing ...' and the GST increase, of course. So, the logic behind this is: NZ Post has less work to do therefore must charge more for it. Eventually this will lead to it delivering only one letter a year that will cost thousands of dollars to post."

Today's Webpick: What if the movie Fight Club was a Regency romance written by Jane Austen. Go here.

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