Sideswipe: Winston's return

The return of Winston Peters? Photo / Supplied

The return of Winston Peters? Peter Webby was on the roof of his home when he discovered an odd-looking piece of metal. "After cleaning off the weather elements, it revealed a Maori chief with the words 'Kia Ora, NZ' inscribed on it. "Once the copper polished up it took on the distinct likeness of one of New Zealand's most famous Maori politicians. The black spots are a bit hard to clean off. I suspect it may be only copper-coated."

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A conversation with two German guests staying with us at Black Sands Lodge. German guests: "We read, on the beach, that you have a big drug problem here - drugs growing all over the beach and everywhere in Piha." Us, quite shocked: "Pardon, say that again." Germans: "We read that you have a big problem with drugs growing everywhere in Piha, on the beach and everywhere." Us: "Not that big a problem, what did the sign say?" Germans: "It said something about weed being a problem in Piha." Us: Rolling on lawn in hysterics ... "That means weeds not weed!" - source pihabeach.co.nz

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The 4-year-old who told her grandad about the "salami coming" on Sunday reminded Jason of a conversation with his daughter. "We live in Jakarta and after the earthquake last year she excitedly told me on the phone that she wanted to show me 'her crackers'. I had no idea what she was going on about until I got home and she joyfully showed me the cracks in her bedroom wall."

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Craig Dealey is sceptical that the driver of a two-seater six-speed manual Ferrari convertible parked outside the Westfield Mall in Albany on Friday night was disabled. "Didn't quite look like a vehicle ideally designed for a disabled driver and with no permit on display. I have to assume the only disability is an inability to understand parking signs. Please explain, whoever you are."

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A reader writes: "To the girl in the red Toyota in Queen St yesterday morning. I hope the illegal call you were making on your hand-held cellphone was to a car repair company. Every time your car moved, it left a huge cloud of smoke and it was not appreciated by those of us behind you."