KEY POINTS:
Every time John Grimmer flushes his toilet his neighbours think they are next to Niagara Falls. The ex-security guard has pleaded with his landlords to sort out the problem. But he says they have warned him that if he continues to flush the toilet he will be thrown out for "noise nuisance". Grimmer, who lives in a block of flats in South London, said: "I've had four heart attacks and I don't need any more stress. All they need to do is replace the flush for a softer one, or soundproof the walls properly."
* * *
A reader, Sandra, and a friend, travelled to South Carolina, USA, last September to attend a course for two weeks. "On our last weekend our lovely hosts treated us to a day trip to Charleston. As we drove into the town I noticed a huge banner that said 'Shagging festival here this weekend'. Of course, my friend and I have these OMG looks on our faces and our hosts are wondering why, so we explain. It turns out 'shagging' is the state dance of South Carolina, something similar to a country line dance."
* * *
A Middlesbrough man has been offered counselling - to help him cope with the loss of his wheelie bin. Karim Allison of Ormesby said he was stunned when he got a letter from Victim Support offering him "emotional support and practical help" over a missing dustbin. Karim mentioned his bin had disappeared to a neighbourhood beat officer a few months ago. Police say the incident was logged on the crime database.
* * *
Trish and Michael Watt of Kohimarama observed an interesting about-turn by our wonderful tree-loving council. "Early this morning, an agent for the 'tree section' of the council arrived and proceeded to cut down six miniature Tahitian pohutukawa trees which we planted, nurtured and replaced over the past seven years in order to enhance the street and attempt to slow traffic around our corner. In spite of many pleas to the council to install traffic-calming devices (to no avail), planting the trees was a last resort. Recently, while I was sweeping the path outside, a woman in an SUV stopped on the yellow line (mobile phone in hand), and shouted about them being a traffic hazard. Lo and behold, the trees have gone. Need I say more."
* * *
Reader T.J. Sprott has calculated the danger the Astley Ave serial speedster has inflicted: "Your correspondent who complains about four speeding infringements (61km/h in a 50km/h zone) within 40 minutes should have her driving licence cancelled. The increased risks of speeding were calculated mathematically by the late Dr Hilary Moss, world-renowned physicist, and have been assessed in detail by the Ministry of Transport from studies of road accidents. Moss proved that the "Road Carnage Index", as he termed it, rises in proportion to speed. Using MOT data, 61km/h versus 50km/h gives the following: 61 to the 4th = 13,845,841. 50 to the 4th = 6,250,000. So the Road Carnage Index, expressed as a percentage, increases by 13,845,841 divided by 6,250,000 = 221 per cent. In other words, she inflicts on others, at least four times in 40 minutes, an increased risk of serious accident or death of 221 per cent! So keep it up, you law enforcers!"
Today's Video Webpick:New Zealand's iconic RTR top 20 countdown from 1983, including snazzy intro music and titles. Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
