KEY POINTS:
In his Setting The Agenda speech to the Southern Regional Conference in Invercargill on Saturday, John Key insisted: "We need more than warm platitudes." Which Tane Wilton says was followed by ... er, just that: "We need to raise our sails and catch the drift of this new millennium. We're ready to ratchet this country's dreams up a notch." And then ... "It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from, every person in this country harbours some hope and aspiration for themselves and their country." Followed by ... "In the end, our country is only as good as what each New Zealander decides to put into it." And then a flurry of sailing metaphors to finish ... "It's time to turn the page. I'm impatient for tomorrow. New Zealand is impatient for tomorrow. A new generation is ready to take the helm ... Strong tides have brought us here; and there are stronger tides to come; get yourselves ready, we're going to need all hands on deck." Apparently warm platitudes is, after all, exactly what we need, says Tane.
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When Barbara Thomborson's son was 2 years old, she had trouble controlling his curiosity at the supermarket. "From the trolley, he could destroy a lovely display by pulling one item closer for inspection. I resolved this by using a special strap that tethered us together so he could not use his right hand without pulling me along. He hated the thing, and I had only to threaten to use it to make him control his curious little hands. One day I said, rather loudly, "Do I have to use the strap?" There was silence and big eyes from everyone there. Nothing I could say would explain that I did not discipline my child by beating him with a strap."
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A baker has been forced to rename her novelty pig tarts - because they don't contain any pork. Val Temple, who runs Sgt Bun Bakery in Weymouth, southern England, says officers from Dorset's trading standards department were acting on a complaint and told her she must rename her robin tarts, since they are not made from the red-breasted bird, and rename her paradise slice because ... it's not from paradise. Mrs Temple said: "It's a joke. The officers came in and said they had had a complaint and I must change the names because they didn't contain pork, robin or paradise. Of course they don't contain pig, robin or paradise. It's absolutely ridiculous. Are they going to start banning Christmas cake because it doesn't have Jesus in it? They said they were going to come back in and check, so I've changed the names now. But people are still coming in and calling them by their proper names." (Source: Daily Mail)
