KEY POINTS:
Bureaucracy gone mad: Organisers of a Christmas party for a small Yorkshire Dales village have been told by the local council they must carry out a risk assessment of their mulled wines and mince pies before the celebrations can go ahead. Large posters warning party-goers that the pies contain nuts will be displayed alongside the decorations. Village resident Steve Dobson decided to arrange the free party for the community, including a fireworks display and a Santa's Grotto for the children. The risk assessment would also include the cocoa content and temperature of the hot chocolate.
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A reader writes: "For the past two mornings I've walked past an idling yet driverless Stagecoach bus parked on Mt Eden Rd, just uphill from the Valley Rd shops. Both times the bloke in charge of the bus was spotted performing a knee-bend, trouser readjustment, having emptied his bladder on to the trees in front of the adjacent property. Maybe drivers should be issued with incontinence pants or leak-free nappies."
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According to Neatorama.com, the smartest dog breeds on average require fewer than five repetitions to understand a new command. They obey first commands 95 per cent of the time or better. The stupidest canines require more than 80 repetitions to understand a new command and obey first commands less than 25 per cent of the time. So what's the most intelligent breed? Border collie. The most stupid? Afghan hound.
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An international airport in Phoenix will test a new government screening system that takes x-rays of passengers' bodies to detect concealed explosives and other weapons. But the technology, inexplicably called backscatter, hasn't quite worked out how to blur certain areas of the normally graphic images, while still being effective in detecting bombs and other threats.
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Karen Madden, 38, goes on trial in Pennsylvania after allegedly confessing to stealing $550,000 of jewellery and handbags from the residence of her former boss. Madden rang her boss and apologised but then went on to say, "I hope you and I can still be friends ... Can I use you as a reference, just for the work part?" (Source: News of the Weird)
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Australian senators have been banned from hugging visiting MPs after Metiria Turei of the New Zealand Green Party was welcomed to the upper house of the Australian Parliament with a hug. The Age reports that Australia's Greens leader, Bob Brown, received a stern letter from Senate president Paul Calvert warning him that his actions were "disorderly". Brown, who described Calvert as going "orbital" about the hug, said: "A few hugs will not go astray - I think they should be encouraged."
