KEY POINTS:
At 5.40am on a recent morning the occupants of a house near the Herald Island Wharf had their peace shattered by the most horrific noise when the driver of a car, travelling at speed, ploughed into their house. According to Massey Community Constable Dean Furminger, a 25-year-old man from Mt Wellington was arrested for driving with excess breath/alcohol and dangerous driving. After the accident the locals were so incensed they spray painted the wreck.
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Don't boycott your winter cauliflower cheese just yet. "Are we the only fruit shop getting questions from customers asking if any vegetables we sell come from China?" asks Kerry Smith from Simply Fresh. "Today someone asked if our cauliflower was grown in China. The only thing from China right now is garlic (NZ garlic is also available at twice the price) and garlic shoots (the new superfood). I assure New Zealanders our cauliflower is grown in Pukekohe by an NZ-born Chinese grower who is 'Grow Safe approved' - meaning he is a responsible gardener who exercises safe practices and continues to supply Aucklanders with cauli cheaper than you can get it from China."
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A reader wonders how beneficiaries can get hire purchase: "I work for a company that sells a retail product. It is not anything that is fundamental to life and it would be the last thing someone who has no money should buy. We offer hire purchase to our customers and it shocks me that customers who are on benefits can be approved for finance. Some people genuinely deserve benefits but many don't. We as taxpayers are providing people with the means to buy a $700 plus product at 17 per cent interest which is really a waste of money. If it was a dishwasher, I could understand. It's not. Surely there should be restrictions on what someone can spend their benefit on? Obviously we can't stop those on a benefit paying cash to a drug dealer, or cash for our product, but surely the Government should be able to restrict what can be financed through a major lender?"
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A Dwarf performer at the Edinburgh Fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry. Daniel Blackner, or Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf, was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, off-beat performances. He was to appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member with a special apparatus. The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required. He then joined it directly to his organ. The result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.
Today's Video Webpick: This sketch from Australia's A Current Affair, an actual serious current affairs show (remember those?) which concluded with a spoof interview. This one is with John Clarke (aka Fred Dagg), looking and sounding like Bob Jones, and Bryan Dawe after an oil spill in 1991 when an oil tanker lost its bow.. Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
