KEY POINTS:
Eco City resident is outraged over the billboard pollution in his 'hood. He writes: "Waitakere City Council are following in Auckland's footsteps by attempting to beautify their city. They have decided that the best place to display billboards is not in the central city but on top of the beautiful Waitakere Ranges. A lovely big government department (ACC) billboard on the Piha road. Add to that the 256 bright yellow traffic signs strung along both sides of the road the whole way out there and you no longer have to look at that appalling scenery. Our ranges should not be used for commercial gain. Go the Eco City, way to ruin the most beautiful drive in Auckland."
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David of Devonport bravely shares his most embarrassing experience. "I used to save lots of time by combining exercise with morning ablutions - 30 lengths at the Tepid Baths, followed by a thorough scrub-up. I turned up one day to find the changing room showers were being refurbished, but there are a couple of glass-sided, open poolside showers at the Teps, so at least I'd be able to rinse off before heading out. Unfortunately, the trance-like state that swimming usually induces in me made me forgetful; stepping into the shower and dropping my togs, I did the full cavity wash - crack, sack and a whole lot more man stuff, then suddenly realised that I'd just publicly exposed myself. I pulled up my wet Speedos (surprisingly difficult), and took the very long walk past about 150 fitness lovers into the safety of the changing rooms. I have never returned."
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This yarn sounds too well constructed to be true, but is amusing all the same: Picture a suburban supermarket in Melbourne. Bert and Avis, a local elderly couple who regularly shop there, were checking their purchases while in the checkout queue. They are a quiet and softly spoken couple who usually come and go without attracting any attention. This particular day they realised they had forgotten the olives. Bert quietly mentions to Avis that he'll pop down and get them. Avis watches him walk off and suddenly shouts out "Get stuffed, Bert!" Needless to say, there was a stunned silence among fellow shoppers.
