Sideswipe: Two's company

One reason why Smart Cars are awesome - two cars in one park.

Don't be disconcerted

Diana spotted the following sentence in a Trade Me advertisement for the sale of two villas: "Some variable options available to the disconcerning buyer." The vendor's unlikely to be disconcerted if the odd discerning buyer also shows an interest.

Holding on and on

Is this a record? Richard tried to contact the police to report a car theft. A recorded voice told him to dial 111 if it was an emergency, otherwise to "hold and an operator would be with you shortly". After half an hour of listening to a dial tone, the call was automatically cut off. Is this how police improve response statistics?

Misconception

While shopping at a butcher's in Ponsonby, a reader caught the butcher scratching his head and asking another customer: "Have you ever heard of a butcher being asked for fruit mince?"

Salesmanship discontinued

Adrian visited Bunnings in Hamilton last weekend to buy a rug. He found one he liked and after eventually finding a staff member to serve him, asked to buy the floor-covering. "I was told they couldn't sell it to me as it was the demonstration model and they had no others in stock. Could they order me one then? The assistant checked and said they couldn't because it was a discontinued line, and no longer available in New Zealand. So could I buy the one they did have? No, because they wouldn't be able to replace it ..."