KEY POINTS:
An ironic sign from Thailand.
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Kiwi Speak is a stocking-filler book by Justin Brown that celebrates how New Zealanders really speak, then and now, with heaps of home-grown sayings and favourite quotes.
1. "It was a bloody mish, alright" (as in it was a mission).
2. "She went mad so I shot her." (Dad's response to the often asked, "Where's Mum?")
3. "Had a fight with the lawnmower, mate?" (yes, a bad haircut).
4. "Relax, you're soaking in it" (from an ad for Palmolive featuring Madge, who told a woman it was good for their dishpan hands).
5. How about a Waitakere Daiquiri? (Bourbon and Coke.)
6. "Here come the turds" (third formers).
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Bailout handout: An auction for 56 foreclosed properties in Utah fell through when the owners rejected the bids. Auctioneer Eric Nelson says the banks and private lenders who owned the properties decided to wait and see if they might get a better offer from the federal government.
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Rodrigo Piccoli says he was fined ¬50 ($112.50) for lying down to read a book in a park in Vicenza, Italy. Yes, the city has banned lying down in the park. It's just one of many edicts delivered by councils after the government gave them more power to crack down on crime. In Capri, officials banned people wearing bikinis from leaving the beach and Forte dei Marmi made it illegal to mow lawns on the weekend. (Source: Reason.com)
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A reader who really hates milk and isn't sophisticated enough for long blacks and therefore has to have soya milk writes: "Just wondering if anyone knows what the deal is regarding what a "free coffee" means when you use a coffee card or voucher. It very much depends on who serves me at the BP in Newmarket on whether my "free" drink means I still have to pay for soya milk or whether it really is free. What bugs me is nowhere on the card does it indicate that you have to pay for the soya milk. Considering that I pay anywhere from 50c to 80c extra any other time, it would be fantastic for them to honour their offer and give me a free coffee!"
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Any chance a bouquet rather than a brickbat? asks Wendy from St Johns. "My daughters and I recently attended a free CPR course which the ASB was offering to 10,000 New Zealanders in conjunction with St John. It took only a couple of hours and was really worthwhile. And good on ASB for offering something positive to the community rather than doubling their directors' payments like another company I could mention ... "
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Today's Webpick: The new TV ad for Auckland Zoo. Funny or gross? Watch it here.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
