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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Thursday

25 Apr, 2007 04:49 PM3 mins to read

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Chickens don't grow on trees ... unless they're the pampered poultry of free-range egg supplier Bart Wech of Warkworth.

Chickens don't grow on trees ... unless they're the pampered poultry of free-range egg supplier Bart Wech of Warkworth.

Opinion

KEY POINTS:

A renter from Mt Albert writes: "If I hear one more smug baby-boomer who had free tertiary education, who capitalised their family benefit to get their first home, who managed to buy in Auckland on one income and who had a brood of kids tell me I can afford to buy a house if I just cut back on the lattes, I will scream."

* * *

British salesman Wayne Simpson got fired after he sent a customer a picture of himself taking a bubble bath. He thought a potential customer was flirting with him, and tried to seal the deal by sending a snap to her mobile phone of himself naked in the bath surrounded by bubbles and sipping a glass of bourbon. The woman complained to police. Wayne, who lives with his mother in Sunderland, said: "I was just sitting there barechested in the bath holding a glass of bourbon and surrounded by bubbles. I wasn't even showing off my naughty bits."

* * *

Mal and his son-in-law were enjoying a day's fishing near Rangitoto. After catching nothing but tiddlers they decided to go for a walk on the volcano. Always prepared, Mal took a bag with drinks, keys and wallet and the emergency radio - just in case. They had a good look around and then returned to the boat for a spot more fishing before heading back to Birkenhead. Back at home, Mal sat down with his coffee and then suddenly realised he'd left the bag, with his wallet and keys, on Rangitoto. So he goes all the way back, by land and sea, to the spot where he left the bag. It's gone, but there written in the sand is a mobile number, which Mal rings. A bunch of lads had picked up the bag and he could meet them off the ferry to reclaim it. Phew!

* * *

A reader writes: "My husband and I were heading north for Easter. Because of a back injury I was lying on the back seat. Quite comfortable, although I couldn't see a thing outside. We'd only just left Waiwera when hubby stops on the side of the road. The police had pulled us over. There is an unmarked police car and another car behind us, and a third uniformed car stopped on the other side of the road. They cautiously approached our car with their hands on their weapons. Hubby asks 'what's the problem?' and the plain clothes officer replies: 'We have a concern about the well-being of the woman in the back seat'. At which I pop my head up and smile sweetly. 'Who me?' It's immediately apparent that I wasn't tied up, being kidnapped or abused, and after a few questions all agree that I was under no threat. Good work by our police force, but perhaps the mother and daughter in the black Range Rover should cut down on the amount of television they watch."

Each day Sideswipe will link to a humorous, satirical or simply strange video clip selected from the infinite amount of nothingness hosted on YouTube and the like. The very best online videos will be carefully chosen and hosted on Ana's online magazine Spare Room and shared with Sideswipe readers. Today's Video Webpick: Very, very strange and tuna ad from Thailand and a warning to the diet conscious; your stomach has a mind of its own. Watch it here.
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