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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Those bloody developers

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
1 Sep, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

A clever billboard for Prime's True Blood is pasted over Marlin Group's advertising for its ill-fated Soho Square development in Ponsonby. "Finally the Soho Square developers admit they are a bunch of blood-suckers!" declares a reader.

* * *

David claims he found a Homo Sapiens sign on a wall
at Eden Park, similar to the one at Bristol Zoo Gardens referred to yesterday. "The human is characterised by large gatherings as witnessed in other mammals such as wildebeest, meerkats and monkeys. This improvised enclosure of baked mud and sticks was constructed by worker humans for regular gatherings, determined by the lunar cycle. Scientists think starchy foods (pies) and fermented drink (beer) are incidental to these gatherings.

However, sustenance seems to be secondary to the main collective activities:

Shouting and bellowing.

Unintelligible chanting in unison.

Hand-waving, agitated gesticulations and threatening grimaces.

Throwing utensils and bodily wastes.

Intermittent sporadic fighting in some males.

This was believed, at one time, to be sexual in nature. It is now thought to be relatively insignificant."

* * *

A 65-year-old amateur pilot was allegedly so drunk when flying his light Cessna over eastern Germany he could not read the instruments telling him where the airfield was. "Come on, I know you're down there," he radioed. "Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?" Control tower staff say he sang a few songs, cracked a mother-in-law joke and told them to "pull their fingers out as I've got a party to go to". Although he landed safely, he was breathalysed on the way home and found to be nearly four times over the limit. He lost his driver's and his pilot's licences. (Source: Telegraph.co.uk)

* * *

The Red Cross claim their emblem is being abused when it's used to market businesses and products unrelated to their humanitarian deeds. "How many times have you seen a bottle of 'hair emergency' shampoo with a Red Cross on the packaging, or the local computer doctor's van sign written with a Red Cross emblem?" The Red Cross, who have 20 organisation they are in communication with over the issue, are trying to educate people that they can't just use the red cross symbol on a white background willy nilly. They say it "undermines its protective power in armed conflicts, potentially putting lives at risk".

* * *

The public's watching you Rodney: "If you think it's bad seeing Rodney Hide texting or using his blackberry while driving, try being in the passenger seat while it's happening," writes a reader. "I had the dubious honour once and I feared for my life! He was trying to answer an email on his phone and was swerving all over the road. It was pretty scary because I knew we'd come off second-best in a collision given the size of his Smart car."

* * *

Best tweet about Random Acts of Kindness Day: "Embarrassing - misread it as Kingness. Five peasants needlessly beaten, plus a smutty phone call to Camilla."

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: A cracker ANZ ad with a great action movie sequence... Go here.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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