Lance says this "lunatic" was texting at 80km/h on the Southern Motorway - and wearing jandals.
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A Christian primary school has told parents their children could be expelled if they keep breaking parking rules when picking up their children from school. Bede Primary Academy in Northumberland brought in a "three strikes and you're out" rule for persistent offenders. But the move contravenes government guidance on the use of expulsions. (Source: BBC News)
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A two-day police hunt for a drowned man was called off when the 24-year old turned up at the crime scene looking for his clothes. The Polish man had disappeared after being dumped by his girlfriend and was last seen drinking heavily into the early hours. When his clothes were found the next morning by a lake, friends feared he had killed himself. But just as police divers were about to call in a submarine, he appeared. His girlfriend said she wouldn't be getting back with him. "It's stupid things like this that caused me to dump him. How can I allow someone like him to be the father of my children?" she said.
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More punny business names: A recycle clothing business called Clothes Encounter of the Second Kind; in Motueka, a fancy dress hire business called Fancy Being Dressed; Northland firewood supplier called Wood Onya Mate.
A kitesurfing store in Raglan called Blow Me; a suntan clinic in Whangarei called The Electric Beach; a store in North London called Suite Furniture Accessories, or Suite FA; in Weymouth in the 1980s, the hairdresser's and the takeaway shops side by side were called The Clip Joint and The Chip Joint; in Tauranga an arborist called The Tree Wise Men; in Jakarta, a very upmarket opticians called SpEXappeal; Jock's Trap, a roadside cafe in Britain; a secondhand shop at Northcote called Junk and Disorderly; a septic tank cleaner in Whitianga called Bob's Takeaways; in a city near Tokyo an accessories shop called Famouscrap; On the Sunshine coast a hairdressing salon called The Severed Ear (complete with a picture of Vincent Van G with a bandage round his head).
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It seems Anna is quite happy to suggest Armourguard drivers break the law and park in mobility parking spaces because they are only going to be there for a short time," writes a reader. "If councils and parking officials did their jobs and ticketed cars properly then over 100,000 users of mobility cards would be able to access the community when they wanted to and not have to face inane comments like, 'I'm only going to be a couple of minutes'. I'm sure Anna wouldn't like a number of vehicles continually parking over her driveway and promising to be only a couple of minutes."
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Today's Webpick: And The Muppets sing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". Clucking chickens, chorusing cows and the diva herself: "Nothing really matters but moi". Go here and check it out.
Follow Ana Samways on Twitter
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See today's Herald cartoon
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