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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe</i>: Swine flu precaution

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
7 Jul, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Bridget, of Auckland, notes McDonald's cheese square has shrunk to a small rectangle.

Bridget, of Auckland, notes McDonald's cheese square has shrunk to a small rectangle.

One way to keep those Swine Flu carriers away: "You wash your coffee mug and leave it to dry in the office kitchen. Next thing you know, Nasty Joe from three cubes down is using your coffee mug. Our Dirty Mug is sure to fend off other people. Even when it's clean it looks ... well, dirty. No one will ever steal your mug again."
(PerpetualKid.com)

* * *

Megan writes: "It's nice to know that Post Haste Drivers sign for your parcels themselves. But rather than asking your name or letting you sign it yourself, they use nicknames. A driver I encountered signed me as 'Old Lady'. I am 24. Maybe he shouldn't be driving if he thought I looked that old."

* * *

Pat writes: "Are there others who are tired of the hype over Michael Jackson? I am reminded of a very early episode of TV show Star Trek when Spock, a little irritated at the commotion over a death, said 'you humans find it harder to understand the death of one than the death of millions'."

* * *

Many people in the UK can't point to their major organs. Fewer than half of more than 700 people surveyed by King's College London knew where the heart was in the body, and fewer than one-third knew where the lungs were, but more than 85 per cent got the intestines right. (Source: BBC.co.uk)

* * *

To the Jack Russell owner: Perhaps the owner of the Labrador puppy has, like me, grown sick to the back teeth of his dog being "greeted" in that wacky terrier fashion - snarling, biting, drawing blood, ripping off chunks of ear - while the terrier's pathetic, ineffectual owner stands by saying things like "Oh Cujo, you mustn't be so naughty." Jack Russells, along with their evil cousins, the fox terriers, are vile, aggressive little thugs and are universally loathed by owners of proper dogs.

* * *

Grisly road safety ads need to go: "Worse than the Weekend at Bernie's don't drink and drive TV ad are billboards of the kid with the bleeding eyes. To warn drivers about wet weather accidents, when it rains the kid's eyes bleed, looking more like the effects of ebola than a car accident. I was so busy rubber necking I nearly pranged into the ute in front of me who was doing the same."

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: What feels like a Stephen King-penned TV mini-series is actually a very spooky McDonalds Watch it here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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