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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Study of the species

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
31 Aug, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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An underwhelming number of worms included in this Bay of Plenty Times classified ad.

An underwhelming number of worms included in this Bay of Plenty Times classified ad.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

A prank sign has appeared on the side of the Bristol Zoo Garden's popular cafe, designating the area as the best place to spot Homo sapiens. The sign reads: "The human is one of the world's most widespread species, and is present on all continents. In adolescence, the offspring adopt a more nocturnal lifestyle and engage in ritualised activities of drinking fermented liquids and dancing to rhythmical sounds, which scientists believe may help them to find a mate. The human diet is very adaptable to regional crop varieties and personal taste, with some groups able to live almost exclusively on chipped potatoes and sugary drinks. Groups of humans are often fed by unrelated individuals in exchange for tokens made of paper, metal and plastic - behaviour which can frequently be seen inside this enclosure."

* * *

A reader writes: "I was taken aside for a random security check at Auckland Airport - to my shock, my handbag (which goes everywhere with me) tested positive for explosives or fertiliser residue. My bag was tested again but the machine refused to give any result at all ... Still, a sniffer dog was brought out to investigate my bag (he was more interested in the carpet), and the contents were searched, all to no avail. My main concern, though, is that before I was let go to board my flight, I was asked to write down my name, occupation, home address and phone number ... then I was free to leave. If I had been a terrorist working with explosives, I'm glad they knew how to reach me when I got home again!"

* * *

Hard habit to break: Another reader has spotted the Minister of Local Government, Rodney Hide, in his highly visible Smart car, driving on the Southern Motorway, apparatus in hand again. "He was driving so slowly, other drivers were forced to change lanes. When I passed, I noticed the driver was too busy to concentrate on the road because Hide was talking on his Blackberry. Bring on November 1."

* * *

In 1939, a goldfish-swallowing fad swept the United States. It all started with a bet - a Harvard University student won US$10 after swallowing a fish. The story spread from there, with goldfish swallowing becoming so popular that not only were pet stores running out of fish, but the New York Times published warnings from doctors who advised against swallowing goldfish, which are known to carry tapeworms and other parasites. (Source: MentalFloss.com)

* * *

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day, so go and do something nice for someone, just because it feels good, not because you want something in return. It doesn't have to be much - put the neighbour's wheelie bin out or make scones to take to the office. Email Sideswipe with any RAK Day stories.

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: Sir Ed Hilary's big climb is the subject of Gingerbread Ed, a follow-up to the viral hit of 2007, Gingerbread Haka. Go here to view.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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