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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Saturday

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
16 Nov, 2007 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

KEY POINTS:

These ads are for the UK's National Obesity Forum and use the line "The eating habits you give your children can last a lifetime". As if the fat kids don't get picked on enough.

***

This is from the National Distribution Union's "Site Swipe" column about workplace stories. "Grave concerns were recently held for an Auckland National Distribution organiser who consulted his doctor over some lower back pain. He explained the injury was in all likelihood sustained by a nasty coughing fit which accompanied the flu. He was astonished to read the medical certificate provided by the doctor after returning to work. The injury had been sustained according to the doctor as a result of 'strained back when lifting coffins'. The organiser concerned later received a letter from ACC declining cover for the accident since coffin lifting was not his principal occupation!"

***

Words That Don't Mean What You Think:

Nonplussed: People think it means: Unperturbed, not worried. Actually means:

Utterly perplexed or confused.

Plethora: People think it means: A lot of something. Actually means: Too much of something, an over-abundance.

Enormity: People think it means: Enormous. Actually means: Outrageous or heinous on a grand scale. (War crimes are enormities. Extra-big bouncy castles are not.)

(Source: More at Cracked.com)

***

How many shots does it take to kill a Taleban fighter? According to this report from the Daily Telegraph it's more than 972. "The intensity of the combat in Afghanistan was laid bare yesterday as one army regiment revealed it had fired one million rounds and killed 1,028 Taleban and lost nine men in a six-month tour of duty."

***

Santas in Sydney have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women. Instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the reported. One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" Daily Telegraphbecause it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.

***

Many readers to the Herald.co.nz Your Views forum clearly worship at the altar of Marc Ellis, like Nat from South Auckland who wrote: "Go hard Marc. We Kiwis love your humour - your style - your outright 'good NZ bloke' attitude. I say vote Marc Ellis for Mayor!" This, along with the expected "good on ya mate" and "you're a legend" type comments. But not all were charmed: Luke Mason had this to say: "The guy is arrogant, and thinks he is above the law. It's as funny as the bloke who lit his mate's grass skirt on fire and then watched him burn."

***

Strange products: Gold Ego Pills. "Indulge your 'inner' self with these 24k gold leaf capsules. Digest to increase self-worth," says the product description.

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