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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Not your usual juicy fruit

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
9 Sep, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

In Britain, Simon Simpkins complained about the packaging of a German lolly called Haribo Maoam, which he said looked sexual.

"The lemon and lime are locked in what appears to be a carnal encounter. The lime, whom I assume to be the gentleman in this coupling, has a particularly lurid expression on his face," he told the Daily Mail.

* * *

Ohio police say a suspect in a robbery was arrested when he returned to the home about two hours later to ask the victim out on a date. Stephfon Bennett, 20, was one of three men who robbed a couple. The woman recognised Bennett when he returned to ask her out. She got a relative to call the police. Sergeant Sean Laird of Columbus says Bennett was arrested in front of the home. (Source: AP)

* * *

Pet peeves continued ...

"Shopkeepers who bestow an honorary knighthood on me. 'Hi' will do."

"Duff music and neighbours' barking dogs."

"Loo paper printed with my beloved dolphins and other sea creatures. Also tobacco bits in library books."

"When you go to the office lunch room to eat at 3pm and someone walks in and asks, 'Is that a late lunch or early dinner?' Arghhh!"

"People who clamour for spots close to the baggage carousel at the airport. Stand back and wait until your bag comes, morons."

"That tall guy on the TV3 breakfast show, the one who used to be on Shortland St."

"My email not making it into Sideswipe."

* * *

Surviving examples of Queen Victoria's underwear, including a pair of bloomers with a 50-inch waist, have been designated as important parts of Britain's hertiage. The garments have been given heritage status by the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council - an award exclusively given to items of both national and international significance. The bloomers are stored at Kensington Palace in West London and form part of the Royal Ceremonial Dress Collection, which is made up of 12,000 items that were once worn by royalty and courtiers who lived any time from the 17th century until the present day. (Source: telegraph.co.uk)

* * *

"They say that using a cellphone while driving is distracting. However, I believe that iPods are even more so," says Craig Fowler. "If the gentleman in the black Holden who was shopping in Remuera on Sunday night would like his back, he can contact Criterion Furniture (09) 274-6039. He left it on his roof when he drove off."

* * *

View today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Webpick: The Argentina rugby team Los Pumas use the old homophobic ‘soap in the shower gag’ to flog beer. Go here and scroll down.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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