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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> No poor people

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
26 Apr, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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John Mexted laughed at this Britomart bar's cheeky chalkboard. There's a new wry comment each day, apparently.

* * *

Ann writes: "A colleague and I were having a coffee at our work cafe when we noticed an RSA gentleman selling poppies. My friend calls him over, wanting to
buy a poppy. She asks me for some change as she doesn't want to break her $10 note. A cafe worker interrupts and digs into his pockets and says: "Here you are, I'll give you all my shrapnel." Quick as a flash, the RSA gentleman replies, "That's okay, we're used to dealing with shrapnel!"

* * *

Keith Galbraith from Galbraith's Alehouse hopes the cat named Hitch, who rode to the airport clinging to a customer's carburettor, is doing well, despite their unpleasant history. He explains: "Hitch is one of six kittens born to an unwed mother who lives under my pub. The mother has foiled all my attempts to capture her and have her kitten-producing ability neutralised. Consequently, every few months she pops out a litter of kittens. We managed to capture five of her kittens last week and deliver them to the SPCA, with a donation to have them "fixed" and homed. Hitch escaped my grasp by inflicting deep puncture wounds to my little finger, remaining suspended by said finger until I could shake him free. The last we saw of him was his tail disappearing under the building. My wound required a tetanus jab, a large plaster, a cup of hot milky tea and a lie-down. I hope Christine was treated more gently by the little monster. Please Christine, do not return him."

* * *

A reader writes: "Before going to the movies, my son was advised that if he had a problem he should talk to one of the ushers. "Oh," replied my 10-year-old, "I thought they were called hushers."

* * *

Anthony White declares: "It is a shame that a law firm needed to explain to its young lawyers what is appropriate dress for a 'casual Friday'. I blame the baby-boomers. Our grandparents knew how to dress like adults. Our parents, however, still dress like oversized children well into their 60s, and have done a wonderful job of passing this aesthetic on to us. They've tried to make us believe that denim represents freedom, freedom from their parents' standards. That was their battle, not yours. Break away. Escape from the dull conformity of the Friday jeans, Icebreaker top and semi-tech urban hiking boots. Wear something that makes you look good.

* * *

Sideswipe's thread about casual dress for work reminds ex-pat Alex Farrell, who works for a large London bank, of the downside to corporate garb. "Just before the G20 summit we were advised to dress down and not look like bankers, as some hardcore protesters had threatened to attack anyone wearing a suit. So when the G20 was in full flow many of us wore jeans, T-shirt and sneakers. When I went to check out the protesting I saw hundreds of protesters wearing suits, pretending to be bankers. So where thousands of city workers had dressed down, most of the hippies had dressed up!"

* * *

See today's Herald cartoon

* * *

Today's Video Webpick: An instructional video from the 1950s on appropriate manners when using Facebook. click here.

These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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