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Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> More flatmates from hell

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
7 Jun, 2009 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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You'd have to be desperate.

You'd have to be desperate.

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Flatmate #1: First night she moved in 10 cars showed up and people walked into our brand new house carrying boxes of beer.

Flatmate #2: You would walk past his room and hear women's screams from the TV. One day we came home and saw he had hacksawed the handle
off our new doors. He said he couldn't find the key. After he moved out police rang asking for him.

Flatmate #3: He collected everything. His room had multiple computers that didn't work. He was trying to fix them and make a time machine or something. He put a welding gas bottle underneath our house and he wasn't a welder.

Flatmate #4: Before he moved in we said we don't tolerate drugs and he said he didn't even drink. We would come home and find all our alcohol gone, but the house was spotless. When we confronted him he had our cask of wine hiding in his jacket. Once, one of his teetotal mates was found lying topless on our front lawn. All our neighbours are retired."

* * *

Flatmates from hell ... Yeah, I've had a few, writes this reader:

"One flattie would park behind me in the driveway blocking my car in and then go out for the night or the weekend. I found my toothbrush floating in the toilet on several occasions. It was my flatmate's way of telling me I had done something to upset her ... Another flatmate's mum who had a key would come in to do her son's washing and would tell me what I was doing wrong with my life ... and read my mail. Son never did any housework (women's work) and his mother would tell me off for not having the house looking presentable. She said if I couldn't get it done I should look at dropping hours at work."

* * *

Jon from Hamilton wonders why, if it's illegal for retailers to sell alcohol to those under the legal age, it is not illegal for petrol stations to provide petrol to unregistered or unwarranted vehicles. "I am astounded by the number of unregistered cars I see on the roads on my daily lunchtime walk. Today I saw a parked car displaying a registration card that expired in October 2008. These vehicles can't function without fuel, so shouldn't petrol stations be held accountable for ensuring they sell their product only to registered, warranted and licensed users? Or if it is already illegal, no one seems to be policing it."

* * *

John Bean of Papatoetoe writes: "Given the publicity regarding the restoration of titles and their application to the wives of knights, it would appear the British custom of using a first name before the title 'Lady' may be the safer option (Susan Lady Satyanand). At a function when the Governor-General was opening a school building, the board of trustees chairman addressed Her Excellency as 'Lazy Susan'."

* * *

John Key isn't making up words. Allegator as in someone who is making allegations is a real word, although not common. "More concerning is Key using the word 'textses' in relation to the Richard Worth sex scandal - "texts messages" is really the only way to go."

Today's Webpick: Awaiting the Bain verdict outside the High Court in Christchurch, an excitable Wendy Petrie lets her serious newsreader mask slip... Watch ithere.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.

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