KEY POINTS:
What the heck is the council doing about enforcing bylaws in Mt Albert? asks a reader. "This is absolutely appalling - the filth, the fire hazard, passengers can't get out of cars, footpath is half-blocked, the visual pollution. Residents have been demanding action for years but it only gets worse."
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Pat Donovan writes: "At 5.45pm the phone rings. I answer, 'Hello?'
'May I speak to your mother or your father please?'
'I'm sorry, they are not around.'
'Oh dear! Are you there alone?' (Voice expresses shock, horror!)
'Yes.'
'Oh - when will they be back?'
'They won't, they are both dead.'
'Oh, I am sorry!'
'What exactly do you want?'
'I need to speak to someone with no less than 10 years left to work.'
'I'm 73, still work quite hard, may I help?"'
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Life begins at 66, reads an advertisement aimed at older men in Germany. But it's not promoting mobility scooters or deals on false teeth - it's for a brothel which is offering a discount to senior citizens. The brothel, Pascha, in Cologne gives senior citizens 50 per cent off between noon and 5 pm, but only upon proof of age. (Source Spiegel Online)
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Mistaken identity. Michael Ellis writes: "Years ago I checked into a hotel in Central Otago for three days while on business. Being winter, I'd bought my All Blacks beanie, but left it on the bedside table while I went out as it was a warm day. That night I found a note in the room asking for my autograph and saying how much the cleaner (named Abby) loved TV's Sports Cafe. I presume her guest list must have recorded me as M. Ellis. Friends say I was far too noble only leaving a note explaining I wasn't the All Black and that I should have left one with a time to come and see me and have made sure the room was dark!
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More mistaken identity: "Your story about the woman who did not recognise Jonah Lomu reminded me of this one," a reader writes. "A good friend was a lecturer at the AIT (as it was then) and saw this well-built person who was the carpenter at the Tech. He stopped the chap and suggested he consider playing rugby as he had the ideal build for the game, only to later discover it was Craig Dowd the All Black front rower."
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The social pages here may be one blond down, but the media across the ditch now have our Charlotte for column fodder. Dawson has returned to Sydney to relaunch her television career as a straight-shooting judge on Australia's Next Top Model. The Sydney Morning Herald writes that within minutes of the show starting, Dawson suggested one girl drop a few kilos to get rid of a "muffin top", told another she might develop "turkey neck" if she lost too much weight, and labelled one poor dear with a rounded face a "puffer fish".
