KEY POINTS:
Warning on the back of a septic tank truck.
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Tony Sparkes had the most extraordinary phone call from a research company on behalf of the Yellow Pages. It went something like this:
Customer service: Sir, I understand that you recently had an issue concerning your Yellow Pages advert.
Tony: That's right.
Customer Service: I wonder if you have a few minutes to answer a few questions.
Tony: OK.
Customer Service: Has the issue been solved to your satisfaction?
Tony: No, it has not. I am still waiting for a response from someone that knows what they are talking about.
Customer Service: Oh, well, that's all then.
Tony: Sorry?
Customer Service: You don't fit the profile of people we want to talk to.
"I apparently did not fall within the scope of the research. One way to get positive feedback statistics - only talk to happy customers!" he says.
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A new website allows ex-girlfriends and wives to sell unwanted gifts from former lovers. Ex-BoyfriendJewelry.com allows women to trade rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings and watches, reports the Daily Telegraph. Among gifts featuring on the site is a diamond ring priced at $1250. The seller writes: "I was married for three years when he decided he didn't want to be married any more. So he moved out and I moved on. I am now about to marry an amazing man and we are hoping this will help pay for an amazing honeymoon!" There is also a section on the website entitled Gifts That Should Have Been Jewelry, where disappointed recipients can trade unwanted presents such as skimpy underwear and vacuum cleaners.
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As a counterpoint to Melanie's arduous experience on Auckland's trains, here is Andrew's experience getting to work on public transport:
7.40: Rush out the door.
7.45: Catch bus 100m down road to CBD via New Lynn Transport Centre (20 minutes to read Herald; 20 minutes to do some paperwork; 20 minutes to read latest Discworld paperback).
8.45: Arrive Britomart.
8.55: Arrive office.
"So public transport isn't always as bad as it is often painted," Andrew says.
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How some people get their kicks: Bookings opened at the weekend for an Auckland event that has been a sellout every time. It is the fourth annual "family history library lock-in" at the Central City Library. Why would people want to spend a sleepless night at the library? We are told that for people researching a family history, the chance to spend an uninterrupted 12 hours using the renowned Central City Library family history resources are an opportunity not to be missed. Experienced librarians are on hand to assist, there will be lots of pizza - and yes, there are even limited-edition lock-in T-shirts. This year's lock-in will be held on Friday, September 19, from 8pm until 8am the next day.
