KEY POINTS:
We think the staff of the Korean restaurant on Princes Wharf meant to write "carp".
* * *
Surely I can't be the only one in New Zealand suffering from toastorexia, asks Ian Judkins. "This is a condition brought on by buying a loaf of toast bread in which half the contents are so thin they make sandwich bread look obese. If you complain, you are sent a voucher for two free loaves, which on opening you find, surprise, surprise, are in an even further advanced stage of the disease. Do you think a support group should be set up to help the afflicted and will it get Pharmac funding?"
* * *
Thanks to a new website, parents in the UK can look up what their kids are on about. A guide to Teenglish at www.gotateenager.org.uk:
Butters: Ugly. eg: That girl is so butters.
Crunk: Crazy, drunk. eg: Let's get crunk tonight.
Feds: Police. eg: The feds are coming.
Flossing: Showing off or teasing with material possessions.
Hench: To be strong. eg: Check me out, I am proper hench.
Nang: Brilliant. eg: That music is nang.
Phat: Cool, great. eg: That new song is phat.
Rents: Parents. eg: He's going on holiday with his rents.
(Email Sideswipe with examples of Kiwi teen lingo and we'll make a local Teenglish list.)
* * *
A driver was so upset to see a lorry load of pigs being taken to the slaughterhouse that she crashed - into another pig truck. The vegetarian animal lover swerved on the motorway and hit another lorry full of live pigs on its way to the same abattoir. "The woman suffered little more than a fright, but we don't know anything about the pigs' health," said a police spokesman in Guetersloh, western Germany. (Source: Ananova.com)
* * *
Steve Walker of Mission Bay writes: "Seen at the Maidment Theatre last night, during a performance of Ali Harper's one-woman show, Bombshells, a member of the audience continually texting, much to the distraction of everyone else. Undaunted, in one scene change, Harper marched up to the offending Philistine and confiscated the mobile phone. General sigh of relief from the audience."
* * *
A reader writes: "To answer Allan's question about Air New Zealand's new entertainment system, it's already in place on some flights and, yes, it starts before take-off and continues through landing. You choose which movie to watch and actually have time to see it to the end."
* * *
An American woman has been accused of stealing her daughter's identity to attend high school and join the cheerleading squad. Wendy Brown, 33, has been charged with identity theft after enrolling in a Wisconsin high school as her daughter. The criminal complaint says Brown admitted telling school officials she was 15 because she wanted to get her high school diploma and join the cheerleading squad. She allegedly attended practices, received a cheerleader's locker and went to a pool party at the coach's house. The complaint says Brown has a history of identity theft. Her daughter lives in Nevada with Brown's mother.
* * *
Andrew clarifies that line about the sneakers hanging from power lines being a sign of a tinny house: "This is nonsense. The trend took off in New Zealand after the Ice Cube and Chris Tucker movie Friday inspired it. It is known as shoefiti and is basically just another form of tagging."
* * *
Today's Webpick: A classic clip called Nude Girls Skateboarding. Watch it here.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room