KEY POINTS:
A computer advert from the 80's. Ten meg for under six grand? Bargin.
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True recorded conversations from tech support.
1) Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothings happening.
2) Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says "Can't find printer". I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.
3) Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry, Internet Explorer.
***
A reader from Howick writes: "In those enlightened days when it was forbidden to consume alcohol within a mile of a dance hall, subterfuge was employed to circumvent such deprivation. One would see individuals pacing 10 steps from a nearby tree or lamppost, taking a 90- degree left turn, then digging into the sand to uncover a hidden cache of beer. By evening's end the beach resembled the aftermath of a children's sandcastle- building competition. The site of the concealment was carefully screened by eagle-eyed kids watching and then currying favour from dads with, 'Look what I've found. Can I have a penny for an icecream?' "
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A reader writes: "Congratulations to Westfield Manukau on the smooth project management that achieved the opening of most of their new carpark along with some of the new shops last week. Pity they have not achieved as much goodwill from the shoppers they are trying to attract. As at 3.45pm on Tuesday there were 23 cars parked on the top deck of the new carpark, 128 vacant carparks and Westfield had already had two cars clamped for exceeding the 180-minute limit!"
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French innovation #1
A French company has launched a service providing alibis for people who "need a little freedom" from the confines of matrimonial bliss. Alibila, which bills itself as "your alibi generator", will make telephone calls, devise invitations and even create restaurant or hotel bills to corroborate any story. Prices for the service start at ¬19 ( $37) for a simple phone call and rise to ¬50 for a "class 2 alibi", which includes all the documentation, phone calls and backup needed to safely indulge in a "passing adventure".
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French innovation #2
French wine makers are taking the junk-food approach to wine in an attempt to conquer a declining youth market by packaging wine in a carton with a straw. Drinking from the special straws is said to recreate the sensation of tasting wine from a glass. "Bringing small wine containers with straws to a party is more amusing than arriving with a bottle," was the verdict of one 21-year-old Parisian. (Source: The Guardian)
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A Venezuelan man who had been declared dead woke up in the morgue in excruciating pain after medical examiners began their autopsy. Carlos Camejo, 33, was declared dead after a highway accident and taken to the morgue, where examiners began an autopsy, only to realise something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly started to stitch up the incision on his face. "I woke up because the pain was unbearable," Camejo said, according to a report in the newspaper El Universal. His grieving wife turned up at the morgue to identify her husband's body, only to find him moved into a corridor - and alive. (Source: Reuters)
Today's Video Webpick:An animated compilation of ordinary folk and name stars who made a big splash on the internet. Watch it here.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
