KEY POINTS:
The top 20 silly job titles in a poll on a British job site are all about employers trying to make some jobs sound more attractive. They included:
Vision Clearance Engineer - window cleaner.
Education Centre Nourishment Production Assistant - dinner lady.
Waste Removal Engineer - binman.
Knowledge Navigator - teacher.
Flueologist - chimney sweep.
Stock Replenishment Adviser - supermarket shelfstacker.
Head of Verbal Communications - receptionist/secretary.
Petroleum Transfer Engineer - petrol station worker.
Foot Health Gain Facilitator - chiropodist.
Cash Relation Officer - banker.
Environment Improvement Technician - cleaner.
Revenue Protection Officer - transport ticket inspector.
Technical Horticultural Maintenance Officer - gardener.
Space Consultant - estate agent.
Media Distribution Officer - paperboy.
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Last week Charlotte Kennedy went in to Magazino in Ponsonby to collect her weekly magazine. "After handing over my cash at the counter the helpful young man asked me if I wanted a carry bag. Trying to save the planet a bit, I said, 'No, can I get a rubber band instead?' He said, 'Sure, but why do you want it?' as he placed a rubber band on top of the magazine. Imagine his amazement when I performed the (obviously outdated) act of rolling the magazine and securing it with the rubber band!"
* * *
Bill Moore's mate owns a car yard in Kingsland, John C Porteous Cars, which imports vehicles bought at auctions in Japan. "He just got the beaut low-mileage 2000 Toyota Vitz (Echo) with 78,000km on the clock. Apparently the car was bought by some company that only used it to showcase their navigation system. It was parked in their showroom since new. Five door hatch. 1000cc engine. Three airbags. New car smell. And a cutting edge GPS guaranteed to get you around Tokyo. Tag $12,995."
