After the Avondale College stabbing, Auckland schools are meeting to ensure their own lockdown procedures are up to date, says our secret squirrel. "Some of the brilliant ideas of the 21st century (the age of mobiles, telecommunications and wireless internet) include sending a student class to class by foot with a piece of paper that says, 'Shhh, there is a lockdown in place', sending a member of senior management class to class to whisper the same in the ear of every teacher, and then my special favourite, a PA announcement, in a school that has a bird theme, that says, 'There is a fantail in our midst.' True story."
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A reader from the capital thinks Aucklanders are obviously not as sneaky as some Wellingtonians when it comes to parking on yellow lines. "There are broken yellow lines on a blind hairpin bend just down the road from where I live, in a hilly suburb, and someone with a bit of ingenuity has taken the time to paint over some of these so he can have a convenient carpark at the bottom of his long walk-up. We're waiting for the council to do anything about it. Maybe we should contact the parking wardens in Auckland who actually do their job?"
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Odd names (final instalment):
1. "My mother went to school in Napier in the early 1900s. She was always amused by the Rose family that called their daughter Wylde Rose - so romantic. Unfortunately Wylde married a Mr Bull and became Wylde Bull."
2. A reader used to live next door to a lovely couple with the surname Bean. "The wife's name was Jean ... My ex-wife used to go to school with a girl whose parents had named her Cherry. Her surname: Pye."
4."A work colleague of mine is friends with a woman named Sally. When Sally was born, her grandmother was crestfallen that the baby wasn't named Phoebe, as it was traditional in their family to name the first-born daughter Phoebe. Grandma disappointed, but daughter pointed out that, although she would like to have named her baby Phoebe as per family tradition, the fact that she had married a man with the surname Beeby rather did rule the name out."
5. A Kiwi living in Melbourne recently married a wonderful Aussie girl, who loves sunbathing. "Her name is Tanya, but everyone calls her Tan ... And my surname? You guessed it, Brown!"
6. One of Haley's best friends, Teresa, has the surname Green.
7. A friend of mine who said she used to go to school with somebody called Dwayne. Not so bad, unless your parents are Mr & Mrs Pipe!
8. "A friend I used to work with when teaching ESOL in Auckland told me that when she was a primary school teacher years ago, she had a student called Russell Sprout!"
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See today's Herald cartoon
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Today's Webpick: Least effective ad ever. View here. Have you seen the David Bain supporter T-shirt with designs based on his bad taste jumpers? Check it out here.
These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
