KEY POINTS:
"Is a 20 per cent wax enough?" asks Lee. (Seen on Elliott St, Auckland.)
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A librarian writes: "After working for 30 years in libraries, one realises that people's interests are wide and varied and unexpected queries are the norm - except perhaps this one: A regular came in with an old personal chest x-ray. He insisted it was added to the collection to assist future medical research. I explained our donations policy - that if we do not feel it 'fits' the collection, we will dispose of it. He seemed to accept this ... until the next time he came in. 'Where is my x-ray?' he demanded. 'I've looked in the medical book section and I cannot find it'."
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A retired librarian says one of the key attributes a librarian must have is a sense of humour. She remembers: Being asked for a photo of Jesus, for books about whales (I spent considerable time searching for the country - Wales) and "the little green book which was 'sort of over there somewhere' 35 years ago".
* A customer approached me scratching an ugly-looking rash on her neck and I was sure she asked for a book about itching - but what she really wanted was the Chinese philosophy book I Ching.
* Finding unusual things in books - like packets of raisins (stale), packets of condoms (unused), packets of contraceptive pills (opened, whoops!), fish bones, Lotto tickets (always unlucky), combs, and - would you believe - a piece of bacon?
* Dealing with customers who slammed down their book returns, saying they were all duds, and why couldn't I write better ones!
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Librarian tales in brief: "My cousin is a librarian in England and had a book returned with a fried egg sandwiched between two pages."
From a school librarian: Boy being fined for lost book - "How about if I return the books I stole last year - will you wipe the fine?"
"Last Saturday, a colleague of mine had a doozy. A young man was flummoxed as to why the Library Learn.net computers would not let him peruse RedTube ... Hmmm ..."
This was a telephone inquiry: "Am I able to return my books online?" (The librarian maintained a professional manner and replied, "No we don't have that service yet, but you are able to renew your books online - bring on Dr Who and the teleporter!")
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The librarians on here are sounding smug, says another reader. "I remember accompanying my mother to get a copy of The Canterbury Tales (by Chaucer). The librarian directed us to the New Zealand section."
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