Sideswipe: Go figger

Pete Bronlund spotted this unusual job in the Rodney Times last week.

Women blanked by Banks

A reader was enjoying a coffee with family at the mall on Sunday. "We were approached by John Banks, who introduced himself to my son and asked him what school he goes to. He then introduced himself to me and moved on, totally passing my partner and her 23-year-old daughter. He did the same at the next table. As he left I said that I thought women got the vote in 1893."

Wasted effort doesn't get my vote

Martin recently moved house, from Newmarket to Onehunga. "The electorate office efficiently sent me forms to fill out to enrol at this new abode. I filled them out, and posted them off only to receive a letter back this week saying that as I had not been in my residence for more than 30 days, I couldn't enrol. Why send me the form then? Wasted my time and theirs."

Germs advert breeds contempt

Jamie Aplin of Manukau City isn't buying the ad for the new Dettol hand wipes: "It's an absolute oxymoron! Firstly the ad shows under a microscope how as many as one bacterium can multiply and grow into 200,000 overnight. The hilarious part!: 'Dettol Hand Wipes kill 99.9 per cent of all bacteria on all surfaces.' Does this mean that you start at the very beginning every time you clean as that 0.1 per cent of bacteria that survives can grow to 200,000 again?"

Edible glasses good for the garden

Strange inventions: A company called The Way We See The World has created Jelloware Edible Glasses, which are made out of agar agar, a seaweed extract. But in reality, these glasses are meant to be thrown into the grass to nurture the growth of plants after they're used. Meanwhile, the US military has developed specially designed underpants for soldiers which will monitor the vitals of the personnel wearing them. They can even administer painkillers or antibiotics. (Source: Reason.com)

Private letter with public message

Karan received a letter the other day with "ACC levy invoices inside" printed on the outside of the envelope in orange. "I don't know why the postman needed to know the contents of the correspondence."

Tunnel vision over spelling

A reader writes: "Given that you have to descend from street level to enter Kura Japanese restaurant on Queen St, I am tickled that their host responsibility notice states 'alcohol will not be served to miners'. You would never get away with that in Waihi, surely?"

Driven mad by thoughtless parking

"I wish that Tournament Parking Nazis were as fanatical about issuing fines in the Les Mills Sale St carpark," says Andrew. "I am regularly blocked in by idiots who decide that they will simply abandon their cars wherever they feel like it, or start their own row, despite proper spaces being clearly marked. I regularly have to perform a 22-point turn in order to get out."