KEY POINTS:
After Mike Moore singled out Prime Minister Helen Clark for using "the politics of personal destruction" and compared her to the late Robert Muldoon, Tane Wilton experimented to find out which current political leader made the best match. He reports: "It appears John Key's face is a much better fit with Muldoon's, from the crooked smile to the matching forehead wrinkles."
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Steven had a little problem, so emailed a few friends for advice: "The fly on my pants has broken and has splayed wide open. I have on a white shirt, tucked in, which only seems to draw attention to the gaping hole. The damage to the zipper mechanism appears terminal. I doubt even if I could make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing. I have no jumper to tie around my waist and all I can think of is an emergency repair at my workstation. Around me I can see three paperclips, one medium bulldog clip and a stapler. Ideas appreciated." Any luck with a solution, Steve? Let us know.
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Pilgrims on the Vatican's fledgling airline were stunned to discover that holy water from Lourdes, in southwest France, cannot be taken on board for security reasons. French security officers seized the liquid - reputed to have miracle-giving qualities - under a Europe-wide anti-terrorism rule that forbids more than 100ml in each passenger's carry-on baggage. One pilgrim was so distraught that he drank the holy water on the spot, rather than surrender it to the authorities, Italy's Il Corriere della Sera newspaper reported.
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Alan Murgatroyd writes: "My volunteer Coastguard Unit has two mobile phones for emergency use. Since yesterday afternoon we have received three text spam messages advertising something that might win us $5000 if we reply yes to the message. This is Telecom spam and is unacceptable. Considering the amount of spam I now get in my Outlook Express following the XtraYahoo mess, that Telecom should now be creating spam is outrageous."
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Cheveon Ford, 21, was arrested in Pensacola, Florida, in July and charged with making false 911 calls. According to authorities, Ford's only explanation was that he had no more minutes on his phone and knew that 911 calls were free. (Source: News of the Weird)
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Graham of Cockle Bay writes: "Does anyone really think an item in your column about graffiti on the St Heliers police station is going to produce more copycat efforts? I doubt it. For one thing, these clowns don't read Sideswipe, secondly, they can't read, and thirdly, they can't spell. They should all be locked up in a big room and allowed to spray each other to their hearts' content."
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Are you the dude in this fantastic portrait? It was taken in 1981, outside Hillary College, Otara, by Glenn Jowitt and now Te Papa want to use it in an exhibition telling the story of Pacific people in New Zealand. If you can put a name to this smiling face email Sideswipe.
Today's Video Webpick:Many have tried to challenge the mana of the haka; the Scots gave it a good go with this Braveheart-inspired whiskey ad from 2000. Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.
