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Opinion
Home / New Zealand

<i>Sideswipe:</i> Friday

Ana Samways
Opinion by
Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·
8 Nov, 2007 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Ian Williamson of Noosaville spotted these funeral directors in Twickenham Village.

Ian Williamson of Noosaville spotted these funeral directors in Twickenham Village.

KEY POINTS:

A dog's life: Travelling down Auckland's Southern Motorway, Beth Russ heard barking and this is what she saw. "Does anyone else think this is rather brutal travelling conditions for a working dog?" she asks. "The SPCA assures me that it is both a legal and common practice. Specifically, the Transport Act 1962 states, 'If dogs are carried in a purpose-built kennel, it must be fixed to the vehicle in a position where it is well ventilated and free from exhaust fumes and road dust.' Ventilation, no problem, but the dog's nose was level with all exhaust fumes from passing cars. No protection from road dust not to mention rocks and other road debris that could easily blind or otherwise injure this dog. Of course, I could have wrecked my car and done worse damage by taking this photo."

***

Pete Hodgson has obviously made a huge impression at Parliament in the two years since he's been Minister of Health. A caller to the Parliament Building switchboard this week tells Sideswipe she asked for the Minister of Health's office.

Operator: "Let me first find out who the Minister of Health is."

Caller: "Hodgson."

Operator: "Yes Hodgson, of course. He was in the news recently."

***

The fact that it is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament was voted one of Britain's most ridiculous laws, according to the BBC. Apparently, anyone who dies in Parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral, which is why the law exists.

Other ridiculous laws include:

Placing a postage stamp with the British monarch's image upside-down is an act of treason.

It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool unless she is a clerk in a tropical fish store.

Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned.

If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter.

In Britain a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet.

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail becomes the Queen's.

***

Strangely appropriate names: Kaytrena Gibson remembers a group of solicitors on the Gold Coast called 'Short, Punch, and Greatorix'. "No matter how they organised their names it would still sound silly," she says. And on the subject of strange vocational names, says Tony Chapman, "A long time ago at Tainui Intermediate in Tokoroa, there was a woodwork teacher called Mr Forrest who had a wooden leg."

Today's Video Webpick: A bunch of ads from the 70s for Planet of the Apes merch, resplendent with re-enactments from the movie and a top voiceover... "What kind of place is this where apes are the ruling class? They're gonna operate on me and make me a slave!". Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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