KEY POINTS:
"Ordered pizza from Pizza Hut during the weekend for a party," writes a classy man-host. "Two of the three were cold and burnt - but the third was missing one-half. They said it was a 'mix-up at the call centre'. My order must have got mixed up with the people who ordered a half-eaten pizza. Their offer of a free dessert to compensate and another 40-minute wait was not accepted."
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Auckland University professor of Chinese Paul Clark writes: "I see from my free 2007 pocket diary that the National Bank has still not discovered China. You may recall that the 2006 version omitted China from phone country codes. The latest diary has a list of times for cities, including Addis Ababa, Montevideo and Madeira. Taipei and Hong Kong are there. But missing are Beijing and Shanghai, home to more than 30 million people."
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Don't let the gays marry, but let the blind hunt: A Texas lawmaker wants more people to experience the right to shoot animals - even if those people are legally blind. A bill would allow such hunters to use laser sights, or lighted pointing instruments. Republican Edmund Kuempel tells the Associated Press: "I've seen this on TV before, when they're taking target practice," Kuempel said. "When they aim the gun, the guide tells them, aim two inches higher or two inches lower and you're on the target, and you're off and running."
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A reader writes: "The signs on the newly erected fences around Victoria Park inform us that the park is closed for 'remediation'. Pompous or just illiterate? Who are they re-negotiating with, one wonders."
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Posh U.S. shop Barney's is selling cans of Campbell's Tomato Soup with Andy Warhol labels for $12 a pop this Christmas. Stacked in supermarket-style towers around the store, they are a bargain compared with the $1.8 million paid for a 1965 silk-screened version that was auctioned last week at Sothebys. The soup is the least expensive item at Barney's.
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Seasonal joke: A man in Christchurch calls his son in Auckland two days before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing."
"What? Why, Dad?" the son asks.
"After 40 years we can't stand the sight of each other. It's over. I'm moving out tomorrow," the father says. "I'm sick of talking about this - you call your sister in Dunedin and tell her."
The old man hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who is upset at the news. "They can't get divorced," she says, "I'll talk to them."
She calls her father, "You can't get a divorce, Dad. You and Mum have been so happy together. At least don't make a decision until I get there. We'll both be there by tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing."
She hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Christmas and paying their own way."
