KEY POINTS:
Bad parents: Jasmine Hunter writes: "Seen entering screening of Saw 3 at St Lukes SkyCity Cinema on Tuesday ... Mum, Dad and children - one aged about 2 years old and the other about 3. SkyCity Cinema gave it an R18 rating with a warning of 'sadistic violence'. I hope my children or pets never come into contact with their children if that is a norm."
* * *
Dave Murray of Kerikeri writes: "When phoned by an old friend from Auckland (who is not short of a quid) I expressed my dismay that my wife longs for the day when I relegate my 10-year-old gardening polo shirts to the duster bag. He agreed and said: 'You have to watch these women. I've had to rescue my favourite pair of shorts three times over the years. I like to keep wearing them because I want to show people I can still get into them. I wore them to Fiji on our honeymoon in 1970."'
* * *
On Tuesday night Spaniard Rafael Nadal was interviewed after he won his match at the Australian Open. In front of the whole stadium, live on television, the interview went along these lines: "Rafael, you play tennis with your left hand, but you sign autographs with your right hand ... what else do you do with your left hand?" Cue silence, then a gradually building roar of laughter around the stadium. Still, Nadal saw the funny side.
* * *
The story about the Mt Eden woman with her zip undone reminded me of the good old days when men used to smoke and girls were shy and, my mother advised us, should we meet a male acquaintance who had forgotten to do up his fly, we could say, pointing "Oh look, you've dropped ash on your toe!"
* * *
While shopping in the big red shed in Botany last week what should Clare Scott's horrified eyes see but Easter eggs? "Twelve weeks early or nine months late?" she wonders.
* * *
A Chinese newspaper seller is attracting customers by using a duck as his assistant. The bird stands on a chair at the kiosk and uses its beak to collect money and pass newspapers or magazines to customers. Every time the owner, called Wang, dozes off, the duck quacks to wake him up, reports China Daily quoting Southern Metropolis News. Wang, whose kiosk is in the city of Guangzhou, says he has raised and trained the duck and will never kill or sell the bird. (Source: Ananova)
