Sideswipe: Flatmate from hell

Sign at Caffe L'affare, Wellington.

A reader gets the run-around: "Wednesday night, around midnight, I left Auckland for the North Shore via the port motorway entrance. Normally this is a quick trip; not so tonight. It was only after getting on the port entrance that I could see I would not be able to go north (or west, for that matter) because of work being done on Grafton Bridge which was blocking the Northwestern Motorway entrance. Frustrated at heading along the Southern Motorway, I decided to turn around at Gillies Ave. No dice. This was closed, too. Finally, after driving down to Greenlane, I was able to turn around and head north. To whoever sorted out those road closures ... thanks for the heads-up."

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Flatmate from hell: "While at university in Dunedin, I had a flatmate who bred mice in her room. By the end of the year we called the SPCA to remove the mice, mainly because of the barn-like stench coming from her room. They found 104 mice running around. The room had to be chemically washed and the carpet and curtains changed because the mice had bitten through the fabric and left faeces behind. We all lost our bond."

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Flatmates from hell? Lisa's had a few:

How about the pathological liar who invented a dead daughter to garner sympathy from flatmates? The fact the child died more than once, from different tragedies, gave the game away.

There was the flatmate whose bank kept stuffing up so she couldn't pay rent. I later discovered SkyCity got all the rent and made her a VIP.

I've had smokers move into a non-smoking flat because apparently if you open a window when you smoke it makes you a non-smoker.

The alcoholic who "accidentally" dropped and smashed all my bottles of alcohol when I was out.

There was the flatmate who refused to talk to us, taped black plastic bags over his windows, used only a red light bulb in his room and over time created such a foul stench in his room that we gagged every time he opened his door. Late at night he would regularly drag full rubbish bags out of his bedroom down to the skip behind the apartments. He ate only microwavable meals, nuking them until the plastic completely melted into the food and a pungent chemical smell filled the room.

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John Key is so stressed over the Richard Worth investigation that he is getting creative with his words. Yesterday Key, according to Guy, referred to "the person that has made the claims - ie, the alligator..." on Newstalk ZB.

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Quote of the day: "SpongeBob is one of the greatest believers in the American dream," says brand expert Greg Rowland in Atlantic Magazine. "He's courageous, he's optimistic, he's representing everything Mickey Mouse should have represented but never did. There's even something Jesus-like about him - a 9-year-old Jesus after 15 packets of Junior Mints."

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Cadbury's has been accused of reducing the weight of its chocolate bars while keeping the price. The company admits the weight has been reduced, but says it has also reduced the price to retailers. If that price drop hasn't been passed on to the consumer, the blame lies with the retailers.

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View today's Herald cartoon

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Today's Webpick: A motorised La-Z-Boy…. Watch it here.

Follow Ana Samways on Twitter here.